Only One leaf remains

You know the other day when 6 was undertaking the daily routine of edification, in an effort to keep his superior intelligence sharp.  One of the characters (Jethro Bodine) 6 follows was talking about gaslighting. The bizarre thing about this revelation was it was being articulated in the early 1960’s, not 2024, even though we (not me) are using the term on a daily basis. This caused me to do a little digging on the word’s origins. It first appeared on the Title of a book in 1930. The plot of the plays was about a man trying to make his wife feel as if she was going insane, he was gaslighting his wife. Since the 1930’s it has morphed in to a political term for deception and manipulation, 6 discounts all of this gaslighting for it is doing nothing more than driving 6 insane! Just another example of how we think the world has changed, but has it? 6 must add is gaslighting to the list of over-used, miss leading, “popular” “New” words: Circle back, Tag-up’s, Galentine's Day, Shrinkflation, Supply Chain, Virtue Signaling, Captain Obvious, textspeak. Hummmm

Fall is in full swing, cool crisp mornings, warm days which leads to the leaves turning and beginning to fall all over the ground. Did all-you-all know that fall got its name, from leaves falling! That might be “gaslighting” 

How easy do we have it today! When one’s yard becomes covered with those gems, all we have to do is say “Siri, call a landscaper to pick up the leaves” or if one is not inclined to be a social advocated by not break out the old pocketbook and spreading the wealth, the other option is to use the leaf blower and blow them into their neighbors’ yard! Back in the day of pocketbooks and gaslighting cleaning those mangy leaves was a three-month daily imposition, No leaf blower no Siri, just a rake! The fun started on the first day of school and ended at the back-yard football game on Thanksgiving Day! Early in September, the leaves cover was lite, but those pesky varmints were still a daily chore. 6’s leaf day would start after the long walk home from the bus stop, a ton of books carried on his head walking what seemed to be miles, never being able to stop and smell the roses, for 0A, could see the bus pass our house and she knew to the second how long it would take 6 to walk from the bus stop to our house. I wonder if anyone else wondered why the bus would actually pass our house, dive a mile away and then drop us off? Upon 6 arrival, the first chore was to hang is uniform neatly and put on his work duds. Back in the day there was no such thing as a afternoon snack, just out the door delivering papers, picture this: 6 with an empty belly with 75 newspapers stacked neatly on top of his head telling himself “Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays this paper boy from the swift completion of his appointed rounds”. BTW 6 has figured out why he is follicle challenged today. Between all of his school books and newspapers, it crushed his hair follicles! Once that final newspaper was tucked neatly inside the final screen door, 6 would return directly home, pick up that old steel rake and begin raking those pesky leaves! Could you just imagine today if the UPS, USPS, FedEx, or Amazon delivery person opened the door of your house and put the package inside of your house!  The leaf raking job went on for about an hour or so, then it was time for dinner! Just like everything else in life, the wind would blow the nice piles of leaves all over the yard, just so 6 could have leaves to rake the next day!  This would go on until Thanksgiving Day, yes Saturdays no school, but 6 just spent that time collecting the money for the papers, and Sundays 6 did the papers right after returning from 7:00 AM mass. Today, the world of newspapers is a thing of the past, now all one has to do is just like getting your leaves raked you have two choices to get news. First just pick up your phone and ask ‘Siri” Second turn on the TV and hear all of the wisdom that comes from the journalist (leaf blowers), They all have so much in common, the only thing that has changed is much like picking up leaves, back in the day one had to work for it, in the case of news one actually had to be able to read, just like one had to rake the leaves. Today, all one has to do is to watch and listen, and be able to hold a leaf blower. If either case the leaves keep on falling until the spring brings a new day.

 

WORDS OF WISDOM: Choices are easy, the consequences may prove difficult. Follow a judgement of reason, and one will find reward.

  

Got to love the Birds!

 

As 6 relaxes in comfort his rocking chair, shot gun in his lap, jug of corn fixings at his side   and ponders the meaning of life, his thoughts are obsessing on the fact that summing is over and fall has arrived. 

Did one ever wonder what 7 and 8 do all day at the beach? It is actually very simple, be it PVV or FFV, their path is much the same every day.. WELLLL 5, as you well know your day starts by watching TV. The reality is that the, morning would not be complete without the Josh’s acumen on foretelling Kiawah weather.  It is such a challenging vocation, for the past 20 years his forecast is a mirror of the day before. It is kind of like watching the Andy Griffith show, and hoping to see an episode that you have never see before.  6 will give it a shot: Inland it’s It is going to be hot and humid with an 80% chance of rain in the afternoon, possible flash flooding in the low laying areas of the city. The beach’s, it’s It is going to be hot and humid with an 80% chance of rain later in the day, along with increased wind gusts. This is repeated on the 5’s for a couple hours! (what is the definition of insanity). Then at some point Josh and Octavia are preempted by THE TODAY SHOW. By this point of the morning the coffee had kicked in It is at this time for the play by play on the daily topics expanded on by the revolving door of hosts. Be it: Savannah, Hoda, Al, Jenna, Craig, Carson, Sheinelle, Dylan, Willie, Laura, Peter, Jane, Bryant, Deborah, Katie, Matt, Meredith, and finally Ann. (5 buck to anyone who can put last names to the cast without looking on the web). As 4, 7 and 8 know very well, 6 comments on the same thing (much like Josh’s forecast) is as follows: On the Today show is why over the span of 60 minutes, 10 minutes are devoted to the various hosts and their famous (most unknown to 6) people yakking about their latest movie, book or concert tour, and 50 minutes of commercials. All-you-all get a real kick out of making fun of 6’s superior intelligence, as well as perceived wasting of time sitting on the rocking chair all day, WELLLL 5 , let me tell you, without that time you would not have the answers to life’s mysteries.  6 has the TODAY SHOW all figured out. Hear you go! 6 realizes that those people make some nice money, but can you imagine how much they must get paid by the word? For example, Al’s current take home is $10M per year, that translates into an estimated $100K per word spoken, and estimated $10 per bit taken. Can one honestly blame him for signing a new 5-year deal? Paths taken…. Probably would be nice to have his fixed income. Now the real question is “If someone could get $10M a year for reading the weather report and eating, how much would the rest of the crew make? Now we know why 50 kin of commercials and 10 min of show, but then again, in reality to 10 min of show is really nothing but a commercial. That is the hard truth, the network cannot afford all of those people, so they give us 50 minutes of selling us something.  Let us move on and continue with 7 & 8’s path. When the today show is over, it is time for Kathy Lee and Hoda, now it is Hoda and Jenna. Not sure of the name of the show, but 6 sure hopes Hoda gets paid tons more than Al, she is on TV all Moring.  6 would estimate over the 3 hours she is on TV, she probably talks for 15 minutes! At Al’s rate she should be paid $75M.  Once 7 & 8, have had their fill of the daily weather and news, 8 will then go out for a bike ride and 7 for his walk with Speedo. They then gather back at the condo and head for the beach. WELLLL 5 that was back in the old days, now we are really not sure what they do, for in the past couple years they now come to the beach about 1:30 or 2:00…. One has to wonder if the walk with Speedo and the bike ride are exhausting them! After all it takes a significant amount of energy to walk 300 yards to the beach and lug that beach chair.  Don’t let them fool you, once again 6’s conclusions are 100% correct! For the past couple years 7 & 8 have moved to beach front properties now they have 50 yards to the beach (depending on the tide). Finally, they make it to the beach, they place their chairs at the water’s edge, sit down and wait to see if they have to move north or south on the beach depending on the tide. Their path runs very deep, for over the years they have made some good old friends. 7 & 8 put on a good front in regards to their old friends, but as we all know actions speak louder than words, their longstanding friends are nothing other than: sea gulls (Larus argentatus) . We all know they put on a big show when 6 is being generous to the poor birds offering fresh crackers. WELLLL 5, 6 as you might have come to expect has figured it out! This year on PVV, 4,6,7 and 8 were concluding their beach day by sipping Rex and partaking in gourmet sand-cheese and crackers. True to 6’s gargantuan charity, 6 offered the starving birds a few scraps from our glut. Down came the birds, can anyone take a WAG as to the reaction of 7 & 8? They threw their flip flops in the direction of the poor starving fowls in a deliberate attempt to drive them away. As one might expect it worked, the poor little guys mustered about 20 yards down the beach, and appeared to be having a conversation. A definite meeting of the minds, after a few minutes, the all looked directly into our eyes, and one could hear “I’ll get you my pretty, and you little friend too!” They flew away, never to be seen the remainder of the day. BTW pass the Rex! The very next day, after 7 & 8 completed their morning/early afternoon routine, the took their place on the beach. Nothing unusual, but after about an hour or two or three, 4 and 6 noticed a flock of seagulls circling over 7 & 8’s domain. One of the seagulls broke from the formation and executed a reconnaissance mission on 7 & 8. He did one pass made a hard-left turn and came back towards them at full speed. He made his final pass then rejoined the formation, and at this point the formation flew out to sea. 5 minutes after the departure of the gulls, it was time for a chair move,7 & 8 tide was coming in, which means their path was towards 4 and 6, territory. This move was somewhat perplexing, for they had something in their hand other than their heavy chairs. Apparently, the final pass by the sea gull, he was on a bombing run and not a recon mission, he liberated a rather large shrimp that hit it’s intended target, the center of 7’s gleaming head, bounced then landed on 8. That is what one would call an ace bomber pilot, two direct hits with one drop. BTW, if one remembers a blogg from a year or two ago, something very similar happened to 7, the only alteration the fighter pilot gull released a load of crap on his head. Beware of the paths we choose! For if it were not for the load of crap, one could infer the fighter pilot gull acting with generosity by providing 7 & 8 a fresh shrimp to eat, after all 7 & 8 must have needed that sandy-cheese and crackers for they were not willing to give, the day before.

 

Got to go, Banana is on!

 

Words of Wisdom: Follow a path that extends the length of the earth, but fits within yourself.

Change is a good thing

 

One can’t argue that change is unceasing, therefore if we do not change we become nothing but a curmudgeon!  Hold the Phone! Is that really true? For if it were true, 6’s middle name would be curmudgeon, which we all know is a long way from reality. There are countless diverse forms of change. From example: While on Vacation 6 changes his bathing suit as well as his hammer shirt each day, while never changing his PVV or FFV packing routine over the past 20 years (one carry-on suitcase). All you all wonder how can that be? Well it is simple, do laundry every three days. By following this routine, one can pack a carry-on bag, with the added benefit of having a full load of clean clothes and when it is time to pack to leave one has all clean clothes to pack. Now tell one cannot beat that! Call me a curmudgeon all you want, 6 calls this genius!  Now if one would suggest a change to the 3 identical bathing suits 6 has packed for the past 20 years, 6 would call you a curmudgeon, 6 thinks it is being prudent, after all he is on a fixed income! But change is change. Here is another one… Humor me on this one. For the past 20 years 7 has been saying that he is going to purchase a home on Eugenia Drive. 6 is not sure of this fact, but he will be happy to use his superior intelligence and cypher what has taken place on that street. Eugenia was one of the first single family beach front developments on the island. This comes from reading the history of the island as well as cyphering the imperial evidence while observing change on Eugenia in its current state. Just like everything 6 professes, my word is reality thus truth! What has happened over the past 20 years is as follows: Back in the day people built themselves, modest beach front homes. Over the years the beauty of nature no longer filled the empty void people felt inside. Kiawah became a prime example of how success is now measured by the size and number of belongings, and not being thankful for faith, family and country.  The modest homes were no longer acceptable to the crowd that frequented the amenities on the island. So, in order for the inhabitants of Eugenia to fit in on the island they had to subdivide their lots in to two, they would subdivide their lots in to two, then sell one half of their property. New people, who lived on the philosophy ‘Keeping up with the Jones’s “ who would pay millions of dollars for a piece of paradise. The original owns would use the profits of selling half of the lot, and built a new colossal house on the other lot. The reason 6 knows this is true is when you look at the house numbers many of them are now designated with an A and B, where 5 years ago it was a single number two houses on a single lot!  6 knows get to the point! Well here it is, back in the day when one looked west while sitting on the beach all one saw was ocean, beach and the dunes (love of Nature), 20 years later all one sees is ocean, beach and McMansions (Love of self). WELLLLL 7, word of advice, you better break those coppers out of the bank, because there are only 3-4 modest homes left on the dirt road at the end of Eugenia.  For if you don’t do it soon, the future will be something like this: The current owners will subdivide the properties once more thus making room to build thinner and higher.  6 can see the mailbox now, back in the day there would have been one mail box that said 54 Eugenia drive, today there are two mailboxes 54 A and 54 B 20 years from now there will be 4 mailboxes 54 A, 54 B, 54 C and finally 54 D, directly below the 54D will be a 7 which means send all Christmas cards to 54 D Eugenia Drive Kiawah Island SC.   

One last note: We all know how proud the KICA is in regards to their recycling program. It is impressive, but just like most things it is all show. As we all know the most densely populated areas on the island have to drive all of the recycling to the recycle center, like that is going to happen when there are dumpsters provided for trash. Here is the best part, on Eugenia drive each home has two cans, 6 can only assume, one for trash and one for recycle.  Guess what, both cans get dumped in the same trash truck! In order for KICA to remain proud of their recycling accomplishments, 6 can only assume that they dump the trucks at the recycling center and they separate the recycling from the trash. They put the trash back in the trucks and haul it off of the island using Kiawah’s Drive way, and put the recycling in the proper bins, so they can tell the world how much recycling they do. We all know They have to “keep up with the Jones’s”

 

Sorry got to go, it is time to watch Banana! 

 

Words of Wisdom: No matter how often we perceive change, things do not change: we change.

Lone egg left on the beach

As one looks at the beach you can’t help notice we are in Prime Time at the beach! It’s packed! The beach is turning blue with SHIBUMI tents, that is one thing that has changed over the years, in the not so recent past, there were the classic blue umbrellas, and a few Colman tents. Now, the classic blue umbrellas, are becoming a thing of the past, 6 is thinking that Scooter got married about the correct time, no more Proper Lines, just a mass smattering of SHIBUMI blue covering the beach! You can conclude, that as usual, 6 was once gain a few years ahead of the latest trends! Ok SHIBUMI…. Where the heck is my darn check? SHIBUMI and Co., look at the beach cam on Kiawah Island, 6 is the number ONE SHIBUMI influencer! 

            When the beach is packed, it reminds 6, of a few profound words from a couple of wise individuals: “All the lonely people, where do they all come from?" This goes way back to a time when 95% of the readers of this blog where not even a glimmer in their Mum and Dad’s eye. Let’s put this into clear English. The beach is packed, after a day or two, the self-absorbed people are the lonely people we see sitting there doing nothing. They have spent several days, pretending as if they fit-in at the Sanctuary/ the sand castle/ the Ocean Course, etc. that will drain them of their last cent and most of all humbleness. Only to see the next group of Lonely people “Friday niters” experience their first exposure to the beach! As the Social Theorists would exclaim, they are produced by a system that is more concerned with building personal façades, than building family and community. Notice the term Social Theorists, this theory is nothing new it came about in the mid-18^th century. Sure, is funny how names change, but nothing ever changes. For we all must remember that this is a wonderful day, that we have never seen before. 

As they say, it is time to cut this blog off, Banana is calling.

 

Words of Wisdom: One lonely turtle egg, brings life to all who appreciate it.

 

Same Question allways a Different answers

 

Some people get great entertainment out of doing things that embarrass or aggravate other people. There are two things that come to mind, first feeding the seagulls at the beach, the other learning about history on the island. Let’s focus on History and let the vagabond birds have a break. 

One of the gems on paradise is the Sanctuary Resort and Spa. Let us start off with a little background of this Kiawah Landmark. The KICA was hearing rumors that a very important person was planning to make Kiawah Island a vacation destination. To that end they began construction on a grand resort that would be casual yet elegant. It had to be reminiscent of a seaside mansion, yet feel as if it had been on the island for centuries. In the summer of 2004, they had a soft opening prior to the arrival of 6 and his family. They deemed themselves ready and the week 6 and his family showed up they held the Grand opening.  For years they offered the proper conveniences like freshly brewed coffee on the veranda every morning, and fresh iced tea and pastries for an afternoon informal High or Low tea (not sure what the difference is ). There are many blog topics that feature the Sanctuary, but just like the Seagulls, 6 will focus on one tall tale.  The one tradition that has the longest tenure, would be, the evening stroll along the beach ending at the Sanctuary for a night cap. For anyone that has engaged in the PVV or the FKV that has at least once made the long journey to the famous bar (actually I don’t think it has a name), to enjoy the overprice libations, and captivating or its annoying conversation. One might be wondering why 6 with his wisdom, would allude to any conversation involving 6 be annoying?  This may cast some clarity on that… Going back 20 years, 6 has been asking one simple question of the server who delivers those magnificently overpriced libations. Any guess as to that question??? WELLL 7 … Who are those people in the portraits, hanging on either side of the rather expansive bar? Does anyone other than 6 appreciate that question? Of course, you do!!! 20 years ago, we would get an official sounding explanation, long and detailed, from the owners of the estate, to random people who were willing to have their portrait pained to represent random owners of the estate, we got some real fantasies. Here is the reality. When they made the hires at the Sanctuary, they exposed them to an extensive training program on the history of the building. Over the years it became painfully obvious, the quality of the employees doing the training became lethargic. For each person doing the training place little emphasis on the mystic of the building and its contents, and more on the needs of self-serving guests.  Let us fast forward to last year’s PVV, like clockwork, 6,7and 8 (4 and 4A elected to break with 20+ years of tradition and stay back at the condo) just after the headwaiter accepted  our order and walk away, 6 told 7 and 8, that he was going to ask the traditional question, when she arrived with our swills… Oh if looks could kill, they did not even bother requesting me not to for both of them knew it was nothing but a waste  of good breath. As usual, ½ hour later the headwaiter came back with our swill, but hold on, 6 could not ask the question, before he could utter a word, 7 asked her…. No not the question but if we could have some munchies that was on every other table. … Lack of training saved them for the moment, the real question was does 7 really want the munchies or was it since 6 was now on a fixed income, his mental decline would cause 6 to forget knowing it would be another hour before the munches would arrive? 7/8 must have really wanted those munchies, for after the hour wait, on que 6 asked the age-old question… Who are those people in the portraits? All were expecting a long-winded explanation with a slightly different take on the age-old story. To all of our surprise, she said that those people were her Aunt and Uncle!  Imagine the reaction! What is happing to the training and this prestigious resort and spa! To all-you-all’s disappointment the saga continues to this year’s PVV. Yes, 6 asked the same question, and to all of our surprises the answer to the question was even more disappointing, although you have to give points for honesty. The PVV answer she gave was: “I don’t KNOW!” this causes one to wonder if 7 and 8 slipped her a few bucks to answer that way. At this rate, in another 5-6 years the Foremost Resort and Spa on the east coast (slipped to #9 this year), will become alternative to Motel 6. Let us all hope that KICA, takes the advice of its founder, and train its employees in the fine art of hotel management. BTW 6 figures that the reason why they would elect a Penn State Grade to president, was PSU is world recognized for its Hospitality (hotel/Motel/Resort) Major. One thing that has not changed in the past 20 years, to get an actual drink at the tables in the bar, it takes a at least an hour, is that all part of the Sothern Charm, or its poor service? Tune in for the next episode of the blog to find out the answers to the mysterious questions: Whom are the people in the portraits, and can they deliver an order faster than an hour. We will all know soon for FKV, will be here before we know it.

Time to go Banana is calling.

 

 

Words of Wisdom: Living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see.

JL

Gotta Love Miracles

 

If you did not know, lunch time in Harris Teeter parking lot at THE FIELDS, can be an oasis of brilliant observations. One may ask, how can 6 tie the parking lot at the local grocery store, to a day on the beach. Sit back and enjoy. On PVV, all of the old folks (owners) come to the beach, swaggering in the entitled world they occupy. Their perceived entitlement extends to all aspects of their lives, not just the four walls Al Bundy claims as his castile, thus making them, oblivious to the world around them. One day, as 6 was walking to the store from the packed parking lot, taking his good old time, for it was only Tuesday high noon and this was the 14^thtrip to the store. 6 was displaying his virtue of Patience, trusting that 4,7 and 8 would exercise priority and complete their shopping in an expedited fashion. It was at this pint 6 noticed an owner in a Maserati Lavante circling the parking lot, much like a vulture stocking its prey. Finally, she found a free parking space, what 6 realized she was looking for a spot where she could do a “Pull thru Maneuver”. Since this person was an actual owner, and a contemporary of Moses, she pulled the ultimate trick… 6 calls it the ½ pull thru, which means leaveing the back end of the car in the space behind the one they intended to park in. Only an entitled person, would understand this move, two for the price of one. Since it was lunch time, many of the workers where coming in to get their lunch, so guess what, here comes a dually, pulled right behind the Maserati, so close that one could not fit a hair between the bumper of the truck and the lift gate of the SUV.  Just about that time the owner and her great granddaughter came back with her cart full of groceries, the look on her face was incredible, veins started to pop, red faced and walking as if she was and exterminator of the ants beneath her feet! She could not get the groceries in her SUV because there was no way possible to lift her tailgate!  She was faced with three choices. First put the cart in front of her car, no room to put it on the side, and carry each bag to one of the side doors of her SUV. Second, 6 offered to help her do exactly that, but since 6 had not shaved or showered in the past 4 days she told me to go about my business, she did not need any of my help. Logic and love for others would lead one to that being the best option, but not for a self-centered narcissist owner, of course, she had an even better Idea. Third, pull her SUV out of the space, and park it in the middle of the road, this way she would have access to her tailgate, and would not have to extend any additional effort. It did work (for Her) but for anyone else who wanted to get out of the parking spaces, or drive on the road, they just had to wait. The funny part was while she was pulling out the owner of the Dually pulled away. Did someone say that patience was a virtue? That was no concern to this owner, for the world is hers not ours. The miracle would have been if the owner would have just demonstrated a fragment of patience or concern for others, her granddaughter and all the world would have been in balance.  What does a crowded parking lot have to do with a beach? The true miracle would be, for one to demonstrate patience and empathy for others, passing those virtues one from one generation to the next.  Tell me this kind of behavior doesn’t extend to the beach, not necessarily old owners, guess who taught the young beach goers in the art of beach decorum?

Several years ago, 62 gave 7 and Miraculous Metal. This metal was one of 7 prized possessions. He wore with pride and humility for years, life was good. Then one fatal night a very bad storm passed through his neighborhood. The storm knocked out the power, and downed several branches onto his yard and driveway. It appeared that an F-5 storm destroyed his yard, but left his house in perfect condition.  The next morning 7 had to do some major clean-up prior to leaving for work, for a rather large branch had deposited itself in the middle of his drive way. 7 proceeded to cut then drag the branches to the woods so he could get his car on the road, and proceed to work. 7 completed the task and was able to make it safely to work. But upon arrival, he felt as if something was wrong, not exactly sure why he was feeling other than things were just not right. After a long uncomfortable day at the office, 7 realized that what was bothering him, the Miraculous Metal was missing! Before he knew it, he was on his way back home and traced his every move he made while moving the branches, hoping that he would miraculously find the Miraculous Metal. No luck, the metal was nowhere to be found. Over the next several years he tried may different approaches to find the metal, including using a metal detector. Still no luck! As it happened, exactly 5 years to the day, another major storm swept through his neighborhood. This time he woke up to water damage to the wall along his driveway, and not downed branches. Since it was Saturday (no work) he began making the necessary repairs to the wall. One of the steps was to get fill dirt from the woods. On the final wheelbarrow load of topsoil, as he dumped it in the hole, he noticed something reflective peering out of the soil. Low and behold he found his prize position. The Miraculous Metal in perfect condition. 5 years to the day that he lost it. WELLLL 7 that is a true miracle!!

Just imagine what it would be like at the gate to Paradise if Barney would just disseminate Miraculous Metals instead of paper passes and owner stickers. Over a short period of time Virtues would conquer, self-absorbed behaviors. The narcissists would all end up in the woods with all of the other broken branches.

 

WORDS OF WISDOM: "Miracles do not, in fact, break the laws of nature."

C.S. LEWIS

A day at the gate

 

 

Last Friday on the Kiawah post, 8 said he saw a new color tent. Since 6 is expecting large checks from being an “Influencer” 6 better do his advertising. Well for a limited time SHIBUMI is offering an Orange and Light Orange tent, instead of the Classic Blue and Light Blue. Why can’t people just leave things alone! Dad Heeler is not going to want an orange tent, he will want the blue one! When will people learn, it is not always the best to make un-necessary changes. Let it Be!

We are living in an extraordinary time, the beach at Kiawah is undoubtedly a microcosm of life. For the past 20+ years, the first thing one does upon entering Kiawah, is to pass thru the pearly gate. The protocol is simple, yet multifaceted.  First you must have an island pass on your dashboard, second and probably the most important, your schnozzle must be held high and proud. Finally, never under any circumstances make eye contact with the security guard (Barny on most days) for if you do, he may deem not worthy of succeeding the entrance criteria. The criteria  is multi-faceted but successfully measures the degree of narcissism in your aura.  For all-you-all Seinfeld fans remember the soup Nazi if you are deemed worthy, you get a bowl of soup, and in this case, if you are arrogant enough you get waved on the island. Not exiled to the dreaded Beach Walker Park where you can be a spectator, but under no circumstances ever admitted nor acknowledged in paradise. WELLLL ALL We actually fall into the parade of lemmings, the things one must do to enter paradise. Now that 6 is on a fixed income and has more free time than grains of sand on the beach, why he doesn’t drive to Kiawah? WELLL 7 let me tell you!!! Where do you think Barney will tell me to go, when 6 pulls up in a 2004 Toyota corolla?  

On PVV this year, 6 observed the attributes of self-centered narcissists that topped the charts, and doesn’t even include our trip to the OC, Barney was really on his game! As it is common knowledge 3 prefers chairs as close to the boardwalk as tangibly possible. On Sunday when 6 went down to the beach, the chairs were a country mile from the boardwalk. Humm! What feasibly can be done about this?  Since we are in paradise, the Kiawah resolution would be to just go over and mandate that scooter (want-to-be) immediately move us to the top of his perfect line. Problem, all the chairs were already occupied, and since it is a Scooter (want- to-be), he would definitely not have the societal proficiencies to pull a coup this  complex.  Let us not forget past words of wisdom “All Good things come to those who wait” Voilà by Tuesday morning our chairs were one group from the boardwalk! All is well in Paradise. Hold the phone! All week we noticed the beach decorum had significantly eroded from previous years. People were proceeding to the beach and just dumping their junk, exhibiting no consideration for others. (SUprise/SUprise) if they would just walk 15 feet down the beach it was empty. If there was enough space to sit their portly bottoms down they went! Here is a good one! One group came down and put up their SHIBUMI and had the audacity to moved two chairs behind them so they could fit their SHIBUMI where they wanted it. Now that takes some real nerve! That will teach people to leave their chairs and go for a swim in the ocean! Back to our situation… WELLLL 7 The real reason we moved up the line, was not patience but absurdity! The first people in the line happened to be a group of about 10 people, they were a multi-purpose group, they rented chairs and also brought their own beach clutter. The jumble included a Yeti Hopper Flip 18 soft cooler in Grey holds 28 cans  they transported they set up right in front of the boardwalk entrance so that anyone who wanted to go to the beach had to walk an extra mile just to get around them. The chair part of the group was really “took the cake”. For, they like to play “corn hole” NO not the same as “corn fixin’s”, but 6 is sure they had some in their Yeti Hopper Flip 18 soft cooler in Grey holds 28 cans as to not bother the people in their own group, they set up the corn hole court in front of the next group of people, and as 6 said earlier, on Tuesday that was us.  6 came to find out, that the other groups of people asked the Scooter (want-to-Be) if they could move further down the beach away from the corn hole people. So, he honored their request and every day we just moved closer to them. Not sure the best way to describe these people. Yes, they were extremely self-centered their actions all day long proved that, or they may have been recent lottery winners? One would expect this kind of behavior at the Jersey Shore, in fact the family looked like third generation people from Italy. The man probably worked hard all day, and right after work went to the local bar and spent his pay check on 50 cent draft Iron City beers. In most recent times, had invited his two sons to join him, in order to keep the family tradition alive and well. Any way all-you-all get the picture. Between the ‘corn holers” and the tent people otherwise known as squatters, Ang has been doing one masterful job training cousin Barn in the fine art of people judging. The new moto should now be All for me and me for myself, not One for all and all for one. 

 

 

 

WORDS OF WISDOM: Being honest may not get you the most friends but it will get you the right ones.

Flowers brighten everyones day

 

Welcome to Summer! 6 hears all the time about how nice it is to have all 4 seasons, hog wash! If we were all being honest with ourselves, we would like it to be 80 and sunny, with low humidity, during the day and 68 at night with light rain. Yes, 6 uses that old adage, but more to be polite than being honest. Now let’s get down to the nitty gritty of the 4 seasons. No,6 is not talking about the hotel chain, or the band from back in the 60’s, 6 is talking about Winter, Spring Summer and Fall. 

While 6 sits on the front porch, rocking away, watching shadows on the wall in 99-degree heat perspiring like a hog, one can only go back in time and think about winter. Grass and trees are all dormant, life just seems gray and cold. In everyone’s mind is the anticipation of Christmas, and the Joy it brings to mankind. Even on the coldest days leading up to the birth, a warmth deep down inside makes even the coldest days endurable. Especially when it is 99-degrees out!  Let’s not forget are antics of our darling family, and the Christmas Spirit demonstrated by the Griswold’s!

Before you fully appreciate winter, Valentine’s day has passed and one’s attention is starting to transfer to spring. No more snow, no frost on the windows, days getting longer, and the talk of PVV is in full swing. There are three obvious things that need to take place for PVV: first getting a place to stay, second transportation to and from Kiawah, and finally placing an order for Rex from Total Wine. As you might expect there are a few other things that one need to do, Start watching Josh and reading Kiawah news etc. etc.. On about the middle of January, 6 gets his annual phone call from the board of KICA, asking if and when 6 will grace the island with his presence. The association purchases all of their flowers base on my appearance, paradise needs to be perfect! The crew of landscapers warehouses the thousands of flowers in the maintenance garage, located right next to the bike path. All I can say is that when 6 arrives on the islands the vast majority of the plants are in the ground, and all that remains are a few hundred flats and a couple of guys hiding in the back of the garage drinking shots of gin, WELLLL 7  “Son, you're gonna' drive me to drinkin’ If you don't stop drivin' that Hot Rod Lincoln!" 6  adds a month to the Kiawah schedule and procures his own, but unlike the Kiawah crew, 6 just sits in the back of his garage drinking corn fixings waiting for expert help from 3 or 4, but they never arrive, so the flowers just die in the flat. How sad! 

6 heard something incredible on the news the other morning, as a result of climate change the athletes who are going to Paris, will not have A/C. I assume it is going to be hot, since it is the summer Olympics. Can you imagine the aroma! Hundreds of young athletes all together in close quarters, and even worse, thousands of people, in enclosed stadiums! Think of gymnastics or swimming, people are going to be dropping like flies, not from the heat but from the odor! Imagine training for years, and the day of you event arrived, you walk into to the arena and pass out from the stink! Never fear, the Americans will pamper their elite. The US Olympic association is supplying the US athletes with Portable A/C units. Just think our top US Athletes, for example the Basketball team (NBA players) will all fly over there on their private jets, book rooms at the Paris 4 season resort, then, charter private helicopters to take them to their games). Did someone say carbon footprint.  WELLL 7 how times change, not 50 years ago, it was exception the have an A/C, today the ultimate athletes are packing them in their suit cases. The difference that not supplying them with A/C is like saying our little friend peeing in the ocean will change the Ph level for all 7 seas. The end result is the same, no effect on the earth, but both the competitors and the little boy feel better.

After vacation, fall sneaks in and football starts. The leaves fall, the nights are cool, and the days warm, but in the back of everyone’s mind is soon it will be winter and we will start the process all over again.

I hear Banana calling.

 

Words of wisdom: It is never to early or late in life where it is too late to set an ambition or dream a new dream. 

Scuttle and Friends

 As we all know, one of 6’s favorite things to do is take a long walk off of a short pier, ops 6 means a long walk on a short beach. Over the years on our FFV, 6 has been able to enjoy, reflective conversations with 0A,6A, while observing, nature at its finest.  From sea turtles, deer feeding, birds feeding, Jellies sunning themselves, Horseshoe crabs, Shrimp, Ducks, Dolphins, Dogs running free (chasing the birds, deer, ducks, and turtles), bike riders in the surf, runners, walkers, and finally people declaring their personal real estate for the coming day on the beach. Possibility the most outstanding, is watching the sun peak up over the rich people’s homes whilst they are all nestled in their beds. As nature is constant that one can count on, so is the fact that some people accuse 6 of being a miser. Fixed income or not, the free coffee is a major benefit of bonding with nature. BTW doesn’t want to be the barer of bad news but, 6 has some new guidance on that front. If bonding with nature is your thing, Free coffee, is now only available from the hours of 6:30 AM and 7:00 AM. You now have 30 minutes, what is the world coming too? 6 can only deduce, that the rich people after spend a long night at either the Ocean Course (OC) or the sanctuary spending their inheritances, on over priced drinks, are too good to wake-up and get a free coffee, that is why there is such a short window. Why else would they not be there! Why do they think they are paying such outrageous prices for drinks after all “there is no such thing as a free lunch or coffee in this case”?

 

A major advantage of bonding with nature, is nature loves those who respect, it’s magnificence.  Back in the day, before 6 reached the status of a fixed income (FI), he spent 51 weeks imagining sitting on a beach chair, watching the waves roll-in. Who knew all of that practice would provide the ultimate training, for his new carrier: sitting on the front porch on his rocking chair, shot gun perched on his lap, watching shadows on the wall. The latest shadow, is a simple lack of humility. 

One fateful day as 6 was out on the veranda, for 20 odd years, 6 did not know he was patronizing a veranda, education is a good thing, one has to give credit where credit is due, thank you 4,7and 8, for that education. After returning from 6’s morning sabbatical enjoying a morning cup of coffee on the veranda, 6 noticed a middle-aged lady, lifting her head from a cell phone glimpsing a deer walking across the grass. To 6’s surprise, she appeared as a child on Christmas Morning, fist taking a picture with phone, (deer was 300 yards away) then positing it on the innerweb (6 never understood that term, but it is funny). At this point 6 was thinking he was saved and could go back watching the shadows, no such luck, she just had to start running her mouth, she really had a high impression of herself. 6 sat there and listened without ever having to offer a word, for the next 10 minutes he just offering a smile every few minutes. At the point when 6 could not take any more, he just had to polity excuse himself and walk away. The sad part is if she would have bothered to pull her head out of her iPhone 5 minutes earlier she would have been able to see the whole deer family, Mum, Dad, Bingo and Bluey. Actually, the worst part was for 10 minutes prior to her looking up from her iPhone, Scuttle was perched on the chair beside her, patiently waiting for her to drop some crumbs from her muffin top, and no 6 did not notice if she had a French tuck (Thank you 4).

That very afternoon, 6 was back sitting on the beach do nothing but watching the shadows on the wall, when he noticed something. 6 was amazed, that a group of random people could have things in common. First, they were all peacefully sitting on the beach, second, everyone who reached the age of reason, had a cell phone, third, 90% of those people had their heads submerged in the cell phone. Amazing … 6 can only assume, they are all broadcasting over the world that they are not at home, but sitting on the beach in paradise (we really do live in a world full of intelligent people). 6 appreciates life is all about choices, but really…..Why would anyone, spend a fortune  for a week in paradise, and spend it looking at a boob-tube, they can do that from their own Livingroom, Oh how soon does 6 forget, that would not be extraordinary to others. 

As being part of the human race, all-us-all HOPE for something. 6’s hopes every day for humility, for who wishes they were so important in the eyes of others, that one that cannot spend a single hour, with the ones whom they love. There is actually one good thing, while Mum and dad are watching their smart phones, Bingo and Bluey are making the world a better place, they are demonstrating to the whole beach what it means to share, as they, give Scuttle, and friends the remains of their lunch. The world is right for a few moments, until some people (6 will not mention who, for you know who you are) chase Scuttle and Friends away leaving Bingo and Bluey wondering what just happened, they are now marred for life.

If we learn to disconnect, and sit and watch the waves roll in, watching shadows on the walls, taking peoples opinion’s as a grain of sand, we will learn from the deer, and the vagrant birds. WELLLLL 7 you must learn to never pooh-pooh Scuttle and friends, for Scuttle will pay you back with a big present on the top of your head, what goes around comes around. Time to call it a day: Glass of Rex empty and it’s time for Banana is on TV.

 

WORDS OF WISDOM: Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it’s thinking of yourself less.  (C.S Lewis)

 

 

WELLLLL 7 "its all Right"

 

It is an insignificant possibility, that a limited number of incidences could conceivably slip pass 6, without apparent notice, but never fear, “It’s all right”.  When something does happen to slip by (some call it COVID Brain, other insanity, others maturing) does it really matter when 6 has the real cause, the “root cause” of absentmindedness is caused by “watching shadows on the wall”. One of those shadows yes, they talk to me, told me that 6 has not formally welcomed additional new readers. Welcome: 32A,34A,321, 52A,521,522,61A,611,622. 6 is not crazy or lazy (that is a matter of opinion) 6 did not forget 621. 621 came pre-COVID, and was a shadow on the wall of past blogs. The best part of a growing following, is it puts “UGKA” it to the domain of “influencer”. Look out world Uncle Gator is on the move! Does anyone know how the checks start coming in? 6 is just sitting here watching the shadows on the walls, waiting for the checks to start rolling in, Black gold Texas Tea!  Say good bye to fixed income and hello Hollywood! WELLLLL 7, some individuals are just set in their ways and beliefs, but for the rest of us, young and innocent, UGKA, delivers guidance, consideration, and most of all wisdom for reference their entire journey of life. OK enough of the pre-amble rambling, and now to the Adventure!

 

6 and Crew (Kids will know this one) were anxiously awaiting our next assignment, just sitting here watching the waves roll in, when out of the corner of his eye, 6 recognized our friends from way back in 22. Regrettably not the Bundy’s! Just like with so many things in life one must never give up hope, for one day 6 expects to walk down on the beach and see Al and Peg sitting on their over inflated bright colored innertubes, (EFY Resin Figurine Senior Couple Summer Beach Fun Inner Tube) with Al drinking a beer eating a PBJ, and Peg eating her bonbon’s.  So sad we may never see them again, 6 doesn’t’ want to give up hope but…. The POTTY kings! Remember them?  Their faces may have showed signs of aging, they have new chairs and different bathing suits, but one cannot mistake the Yeti Hopper Flip 18 soft cooler in Grey holds 28 cans or the etiquettes. Does anyone remember this shadow on the wall… High Noon, couple comes to the beach, beach chairs, Yeti Hopper Flip 18 soft cooler, SHIBUMI The QUIET tm, and a couple of kids, 6 would put the kids in their late 20’s or early 30’s. The old man and his old lady sit down on the beach, and crack a cold one of Milwaukee’s best light beer! This continues for a couple hours, when one of the kids realize that there is a stack of empty beer cans piling up behind the old man. At about this time the kids call it a day, putt all the empties in a bag, as the strolled to the trash can shaking their heads rolling their eyes in absolute embarrassment of their caregivers, dump the empties and into the trash bin… not to be see for the rest of the day. Meanwhile back at the shore, the old man and old lady refill their Yeti Hopper Flip 18 soft cooler in Grey holds 28 cans, for at least the third time. This goes on every day! By now all-you-all are wondering why I call them the POTTY kings, WELLLLL 7, about every hour or so, the both of them wobble down to the ocean, saunter out about 10 feet and sit down, they stay there for a minute or so, then walk back to their chairs and pop another cold one! This continues until 5:00 when the stagger home, that is also a sight to witness!

The little ones, (Blog from back in 15 young man peering in the ocean) , 6 can acknowledge as an act of impulse . WELLLLL 7……but when old people start using the magnificence of the ocean as their personal POTTY and BADAI , that somehow seems to cross a line of social acceptance, after all, 100 yards down the beach is a public outhouse! As per the guidelines of this blog, one cannot point out a problem, with out a solution. Given 6’s superior intelligence, and using the well know process of system engineering, the root causes were identified, and the risk mitigation plan was developed.  The next action is for 71 to call the president of KICA (Penn State Grad) and tell him to add a new rule to all the signs on the beach! No Shitter.  

Next year on PVV, 6 and crew have an assignment, find out who these people really are. 6 supposition is that they are born naturalists. After all, 6 estimates that the ocean is the world’s largest crapper!

 

 

WORDS of Wisdom:

One must always forgive, for there is no cure, for being unforgiving.