A day at the gate

 

 

Last Friday on the Kiawah post, 8 said he saw a new color tent. Since 6 is expecting large checks from being an “Influencer” 6 better do his advertising. Well for a limited time SHIBUMI is offering an Orange and Light Orange tent, instead of the Classic Blue and Light Blue. Why can’t people just leave things alone! Dad Heeler is not going to want an orange tent, he will want the blue one! When will people learn, it is not always the best to make un-necessary changes. Let it Be!

We are living in an extraordinary time, the beach at Kiawah is undoubtedly a microcosm of life. For the past 20+ years, the first thing one does upon entering Kiawah, is to pass thru the pearly gate. The protocol is simple, yet multifaceted.  First you must have an island pass on your dashboard, second and probably the most important, your schnozzle must be held high and proud. Finally, never under any circumstances make eye contact with the security guard (Barny on most days) for if you do, he may deem not worthy of succeeding the entrance criteria. The criteria  is multi-faceted but successfully measures the degree of narcissism in your aura.  For all-you-all Seinfeld fans remember the soup Nazi if you are deemed worthy, you get a bowl of soup, and in this case, if you are arrogant enough you get waved on the island. Not exiled to the dreaded Beach Walker Park where you can be a spectator, but under no circumstances ever admitted nor acknowledged in paradise. WELLLL ALL We actually fall into the parade of lemmings, the things one must do to enter paradise. Now that 6 is on a fixed income and has more free time than grains of sand on the beach, why he doesn’t drive to Kiawah? WELLL 7 let me tell you!!! Where do you think Barney will tell me to go, when 6 pulls up in a 2004 Toyota corolla?  

On PVV this year, 6 observed the attributes of self-centered narcissists that topped the charts, and doesn’t even include our trip to the OC, Barney was really on his game! As it is common knowledge 3 prefers chairs as close to the boardwalk as tangibly possible. On Sunday when 6 went down to the beach, the chairs were a country mile from the boardwalk. Humm! What feasibly can be done about this?  Since we are in paradise, the Kiawah resolution would be to just go over and mandate that scooter (want-to-be) immediately move us to the top of his perfect line. Problem, all the chairs were already occupied, and since it is a Scooter (want- to-be), he would definitely not have the societal proficiencies to pull a coup this  complex.  Let us not forget past words of wisdom “All Good things come to those who wait” Voilà by Tuesday morning our chairs were one group from the boardwalk! All is well in Paradise. Hold the phone! All week we noticed the beach decorum had significantly eroded from previous years. People were proceeding to the beach and just dumping their junk, exhibiting no consideration for others. (SUprise/SUprise) if they would just walk 15 feet down the beach it was empty. If there was enough space to sit their portly bottoms down they went! Here is a good one! One group came down and put up their SHIBUMI and had the audacity to moved two chairs behind them so they could fit their SHIBUMI where they wanted it. Now that takes some real nerve! That will teach people to leave their chairs and go for a swim in the ocean! Back to our situation… WELLLL 7 The real reason we moved up the line, was not patience but absurdity! The first people in the line happened to be a group of about 10 people, they were a multi-purpose group, they rented chairs and also brought their own beach clutter. The jumble included a Yeti Hopper Flip 18 soft cooler in Grey holds 28 cans  they transported they set up right in front of the boardwalk entrance so that anyone who wanted to go to the beach had to walk an extra mile just to get around them. The chair part of the group was really “took the cake”. For, they like to play “corn hole” NO not the same as “corn fixin’s”, but 6 is sure they had some in their Yeti Hopper Flip 18 soft cooler in Grey holds 28 cans as to not bother the people in their own group, they set up the corn hole court in front of the next group of people, and as 6 said earlier, on Tuesday that was us.  6 came to find out, that the other groups of people asked the Scooter (want-to-Be) if they could move further down the beach away from the corn hole people. So, he honored their request and every day we just moved closer to them. Not sure the best way to describe these people. Yes, they were extremely self-centered their actions all day long proved that, or they may have been recent lottery winners? One would expect this kind of behavior at the Jersey Shore, in fact the family looked like third generation people from Italy. The man probably worked hard all day, and right after work went to the local bar and spent his pay check on 50 cent draft Iron City beers. In most recent times, had invited his two sons to join him, in order to keep the family tradition alive and well. Any way all-you-all get the picture. Between the ‘corn holers” and the tent people otherwise known as squatters, Ang has been doing one masterful job training cousin Barn in the fine art of people judging. The new moto should now be All for me and me for myself, not One for all and all for one. 

 

 

 

WORDS OF WISDOM: Being honest may not get you the most friends but it will get you the right ones.