Vacation 2014

“Oh Lord won’t you buy me a Mercedes- Benz”. For the more mature readers you all know what 6 is talking about, and for the young not necessarily at heart look it up.

One Friday night not so long ago, 6 was lounging on the deck of his abode, a glass of Rex in one hand,  a stoogie in the other, listening Janice on the Bose speakers, just reflecting on the opening ceremonies of the 2014 Kiawah vacation.  The recollection began in the condo,  it was time to make the annual pilgrimage to the local house of worship, seven of us crammed in the truckster, and off we went.  Upon our arrival we orderly exited the car as OA closed the back door of the vehicle leaving of course 7, helpless, left at the altar, high and dry, beached.  It was then when 6 realized he had left the beach camera back at the abode on the kitchen table. How depressing, for it was a classic 7, as he was confined in the back-back seat, arms up in the air with a look of wonderment on his face as he exclaimed “WHAT THE, just then horrific bolt of lightning eliminated the dark Kiawah sky, saving my unadulterated ears from the sediment emanating from the truckster,  6 being the consummate gentleman, defying   the wishes of the other passengers, went back and freed him from the all comforts of the truckster on a hundred degree day.   We found our customary pews, were then  greeted by the congenial pastor who as if on mnemonic gave is 30 second annual allocution, on the financial plight of his parish.    As church concluded as if on cue, the storm cleared, and the sun returned full and brilliant. It was now time to return to the condo for the gourmet meal, prepared from the loving hands of 6 and 6A. (Background for my loyal readers who do not know this)  As per tradition, the 6, 6A, 61, and 62, take an extra day of vacation, drive to Charleston, stay at a 5 star establishment, awaken from our slumber prior to the sun rise, so that we are the first customers to the farmers market in the square. After all by definition the opening meal of the 2014 Kiawah vacation sets the standard for the entire week. We purchased freshly ground wheat, for the pasta, heirloom tomatoes for the sauce, shrimp that was swimming  300 yards from Kiawah island not 2 hours before, bread that was just pulled out of a stone oven, free range beef for the meat balls, and last but not least organic greens for the salad. One stop remaining before we make our grand entrance on to the island.  Total wine and have the sommelier, choose the perfect pairing for our all natural, handcrafted, meal. This was the first time 6 ever took the time to work with a sommelier, on such an endeavor. The sommelier, asked several questions ranging from the obvious what kind of grub we would be putting in the old feed bag, to the sublime: social status,  background and taste of people , ages, sex etc. he was devoutly taking notes and then excused himself, and a short time returned back with four bottles  for 6 to taste.  The first was a Zinn, then a full bodied Cab, then a chardonnay, and finally a merlot. It was such a difficult decision, each of them perfect in their own right, so we decided on 6 cab’s, 6 Zinn’s and 4 merlots, and 3 chardonnay. The sommelier asked us to just proceed to the checkout and he will have our order delivered promptly.  While 6 walked to the checkout line, it hit like a ton of bricks what did I just do? Did I spend my whole vacation money on wine?” Well I If I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn to the carpet, I wouldn't be more surprised than I am now” Every last bottle he brought to the checkout line was “Drum roll please”  HMR! Bingo…Vacation money in tack. 6 better get back on subject here…. Back to the meal, it was everything that one might expect, as every last crumb was consumed!  After dinner the group relaxed in the parlor around the open fireplace and began to discuss the issue of the day. Very quickly 6A was bringing up topics that 6, 61,62 and 63 really did not want to hear about which was obviously influenced by the 8 bottles of HMR, and the case of beer that were consumed with dinner. It was at this point when 6 following the mandatory fun schedule, using the official beach watch noticed that it was time for the walk on the beach, so 6,7,8,61,62,63,32,71 grabbed a few more beers’ a 9^th bottle of wine, and the mini boom box cranked up the music then proceeded to the beach.  The moon was full in the eastern sky as we strolled up the beach, it could not have been more perfect, as nature was putting on a show to rival anything you could imagine. There was one thing that was a little bit strange, as we approached other people; they all seemed to give us a wide birth as if there was something really odd about us. Can you imagine that?? Eight people in a group walking down the beach warring hand painted wife beaters shirts, drinking wine and beer, listening to loud music, surrounded on one side by the ocean and the other by multi-million dollar homes, what could possibly go wrong with that picture.”Hey Dude keep your ____ —out of my beach community” Those elitist on the beach need to get a grip on what is really important in life. Just because we don’t have beach houses, fancy car’s, big hair (or any for that matter), does not mean we are not good enough to enjoy what has been given to all of us! After all we are all just walking along  enjoying , the silent majesty of a summers eve... the clean, oppressive blast of the vacation air... an assholes in their wife beater tee’s , dropping empty beer cans into our pristine beach...Need I say more! The conversation soon changed to the houses along the beach, and how nice it would be to be able to afford one of those homes. With-in about 15 minutes of that conversation went salient, 6 began to wonder how nice it would be to be able to afford a summer home on the beach, to be able to lay out millions of dollars, or to even have millions of dollars. Then just as the bolt of lightning struck 6 hours earlier, 6 began to realize, what he really had. If 6 was that loaded (with money),  6 would not be walking down the beach with kith and kin, he would be sitting all alone on the back deck of one of those house drinking growers champagne, thinking about how nice it would be to be in the middle of those idiots in their wife beater tee shirt, acting like fools all the while relishing each step. We should not be asking for a Mercedes-Benz, a color TV, or even a night on the town, we have it all. The most enjoying traditions of the Kiawah Vacation are best enjoyed in the warm embrace of kith and kin. Thith beach is a thymbol of the thpirit of the family Vacation. As another side note…hey 71 do you remember what we saw in the little pool of water on the beach, is that not why we left the condo in the first place!