Patience

We are in no man’s land now, vacation gear is all packed away and the holidays are still a few weeks away, so what is a person to do with their time. What’s a mother to do??  Watch football, play golf, read, study, eat, rake leaves, sleep, go shopping? Well how about this one.. This past weekend I engaged in one of my favorite activities, intellectual beach. Believe it or not, I accomplished this while making a trip to the mall. Right about now those who are not on par with my superior intelligence, are scratching their heads or just calling me pompous dumb butt. So for the idiots among you let me explain. First it will take a little bit of imaginations and a lot of being in the right state of mind.  The Mall and the beach are really the same thing, there are only two differences;  first you don’t have the sun, sand, fresh air, waves and my nice comfortable re-furbished quality beach chair and second people are dress slightly different. Other than that what is the difference?(If Hillary can use it so can I) Understand yet? Well I thinks I may need to continue, by providing a few examples for the imagination deficient.  Think about it; When you enter the mall, it gives you a feeling of nirvana, you are in a Mecca of everything you can’t live without is now right at your finger tips: shoes, tops, pants, bags, dresses, shirts, three piece seersucker suits,  make-up, coats,  underwear (Mary)did I say shoes and bags. Your mind is focused on the new styles the sales, the choices; it is an overwhelming feeling of joy and happiness.   Let’s see the beach: as I have described it before, Narvania and Mecca…… the same thing! Now don’t be dissing me, we all like to go shopping, just as much as we like going to the beach, the only difference is some only like the mall for a few minutes and others can stay there all day. What else, some people are walking around with bags of stuff, while others are sitting down watching people walking around with bags of stuff, see same thing! Alex, I think I saw your buddy (Booooobs’s) wife, she must have been at the mall, as we were walking down the beach oh I mean mall, there was a lady waddling just like your buddy  towards us, with a  nice straw hat, grey hair, a powder blue leisure suit ( not really a suit) but she did have a powder blue outfit made of 100% spandex where her stretchy pants did not quite cover her massive stomach, and her top must have cropped up a few inches with each waddle thus exposing a nice big belly that matched your friends boooooobs’s. They would make a great couple! They could waddle down the beach or mall holding each other’s hands, stopping traffic in either place while the go off into the sunset or Jenny Craig.  BTW that was my first sighting of Clause family for the year, so you all better have been good! (Really Clark). Or does anyone remember the squatters that came and sat down in front of us? The three guys and two girls we thought that they were college students. The one boy, who thought he was god’s gift to women. His ego was suddenly deflated as he would fall on his butt each time he jumped on his board, while the girls he was impressing were laughing at him while they watched a 10 year old masterfully riding his board across the waves. Well at the mall you can see a very similar sighting. This time you see the guys standing in front of the malt shop (Stawbucks) watching the girls walk buy in their six inch platform shoes. They guys are laughing as each step they take is a calculated move, out of fear of falling on their butts. Or again you can’t tell me that you have never gone to the mall or the beach and not seen domestic squabble? Or again on the beach you stand in line watching the big buck eating the foliage on the beach, at the mall you stand in line and watch your big bucks disappear.  If my point is not made by now, I guess your iminagtion, and logic left you just like your Atari. I also know that you all are wondering what my point with all this gibberish is! I guess I will lay it out for you, again!   Now that we are approaching the shopping season (Hap Hap Happy) , I just want you to all to get your beach hats out, put on your favorite shades and proudly walk thru the mall, don’t be bothered by slow people, long lines, spending money, little disagreements, irritating teens, just enjoy the old  guy in the red suit!

Words of wisdom: Patience is the key to paradise……..Turkish proverb.