Empty Beach

As you might guess 6 is full of tradition. (No comments from the peanut gallery). One of the best things about vacation is the daily tradition of paying homage to the almighty Rex. For those who are unfamiliar, with this solemn, yet joyful rouse, it happens something like this:   Each day at approximately 4:30 one of the respectful beach slugs who needs to use the head or get a GH fix, makes the long journey back to the condo, to cut the cheese, bag the crackers, and open a vintage bottle of Rex.  Before 6 continues please indulge me in a little side note. This past Christmas dinner, 21 was explaining to 6, 32, 7, 8, 33, 34, 61, 62, 63, 21A  the term “Growers” , 6 was intrigued by this concept and did a little research on origins of the term “Growers”,(not that 6 questioned 21’s knowledge) it is a long involved process, so I will get right to the point. It was a term coined by a gentleman named Sir Edward Johnson aka Cousin Eddie, way back in the early 80’s. It seems he is the silent partner in a company called HRM (His Royal Majesty), which produces Rex. As the ledged goes,  Sir Edward was looking to invest in a single estate that produces its own product. You know a one stop shop. Well when he found this place, he walked in and said I want to buy a vineyard that GROWS its own grapes, therefore the term “Growers”.  The rest is history… Back to the story..When they return to the beach around 5:00 we drink a toast to Apollo, then to Poseidon, then to Ajax, then to Dionysus, then a couple more to Dionysus, and do not stop toasting Dionysus, until the until the rooster has run dry! Keeping with tradition, it seems like we really do not want squatters around us on the beach, we traditionally go to great lengths to keep them at a safe distance from our established real-estate. In 6’s opinion they are more than welcome to come to Kiawah, but they should stay back in their own homes and don’t bring their arguments, tents, shovels, bikes, coolers, chairs, towels, umbrella’s, surf boards, boats, kites, soccer balls, botchy ball, and themselves to the beach. What do they think a beach is for! Why don’t they just drop their rug rats off at the nature center in their luxury SUV, go back to their domiciles, and argue about how they are going to pay for this vacation while they pretend to doing something productive on their smart phones. I never get my own way, so when faced with problem, 6 employees his superior intelligence, and always develops a brilliant idea! Picture this: here is what we are going to do, each of us buys a camelback, a Bluetooth speaker, 7 buys a box of stogies (he is the only one of age), a roll of duct tape, 6 cases of HRM, and a beach ball. Sunday morning we fill the camel backs with the Rex, use the duck tape to fasten the speakers to our matching hats, sync the speakers to a IPod loaded with Jimi Hendrix, blow up our beach balls, put the stogies in our mouths, grab the Frisbee and our chairs, then all of us in our matching trunks, shirts, hats and shades, march with dignity down to the beach and light’m up! The way I got it figured by mid week we will either have our wish of having the beach to ourselves, or we will have made lots of friends! There you go.. Problem solved, we need privacy, it a public beach, so we just drive them away!  There is another option if every day, each of us texts REX19 to 30364 we can win $5,000 from HMR and then we could rent with the rich folks on the other end of the beach, where we will have our privacy, either way we achieve our goal!

Words of wisdom: When you are disrespectful to others you are not only being disrespectful to them but mostly yourself.