only days now

We are now with-in a week of the big day, every one of our thoughts are probably set on ensuring that everything is in place for the 24 hours of Christmas. We are all like mini Santa’s, spending each waking moment making our lists and checking it twice. The list is probably very diverse, for example: last minute jobs at work, studying for exams, presents, food, decorating, travel plans, cards; oh the list just keeps growing. But just like taking an exam, at 5:00 on Christmas Eve, it is time to put the pencils down, because at that time, the show if over, the fat lady has sung, the stores are closed, the Fed Ex trucks are parked, and all you have left to do is enjoy.

As I sit here in my easy chair with a pipe in one hand and a glass of scotch in the other being warmed by the roaring fire, it give me time to reflect on why we take a time that should be a quiet reflection of all the blessings we have and turn it into a time where tempers are high, stress abounds and expectations are too high for anyone to achieve. So then if all the trappings are driving the stress, then what should we be doing? Let me begin with what we all have in common, and that is a genuine attraction to the film classic Christmas vacation. On the surface it is an amusing story about a family, and how “mucked” up Christmas can get when the focus is on secular values of Christmas and not the spiritual. So this year take a few minutes and reflect on why we put ourselves thru the stress. It all starts out with a man, Clark W. Griswold who only wants to provide his family with happiness and a swimming pool. He is a middle class hard working son-of a gun, with a successful career whose goal is to survive in a secular world, grasping endlessly for the values, while providing the trappings of the world for his dear wife, and precious children. The story evolves, by adding several key characters: His parents, his in-laws, his cousin, his boss, and the neighbors. Each one of them play a key role in the message of the story. Let’s start with Clark and Ellen. They are your typical middle class family; Clark walks the fine line between the secular society and the spirit society. In other words needs to be accepted by society while at the same time that candle of spirit is still glowing, but flickers as he lets “things” change the meaning of Christmas.  The parents, Clark’s parents are the old school middle class parents, elevating their children to the point where they are blinded by their Childs weaknesses as a reflection of theirs.  Ellen’s parents are the first to find fault, of others as to hide their own inadequacies.  The boss:  Mr. Shirley What a man, the American dream a true inspiration; Business owner, powerful, directing, demanding, tons of money, big house over there on Melody lane, wife running around in her PJ’s and mink coat with a pearl necklace.  The neighbors Todd and Margo: Classic upies want to bee’s, their life centers around themselves, a “couple” that only thinks of their individual needs and wants, have the latest top of the line gadgets, but in the end have nothing other than themselves. How can I forget Lewis and Bethany?  Two grouchy old people that want to feel  useful and appreciated, but are like the old Christmas decorations only to be seen once a year.  And last but not least the Johnson’s. Eddie, Edward, a man who has noting, and wants nothing, happy and content with his life and has a heart of gold. The trappings of the world do not affect either Eddie or his family, they are not judgmental accepting of his actions, not wondering what others may say, or passing judgment on what he feels ; his objective is to do what is ever necessary to make the lives of the people he loves fulfilled. So about this time I bet you are all wondering if 6 actually has a point to all of this rambling.. Well I do.. Christmas is not about stress, it is not about things, it is not about image, it is not about disappointment or envy. It is about the contentment the kind that one has as you look into the crèche and finding an infant with his arms open, giving himself to the world. He has everything and wants nothing other than to have his family at his side, no big house, no big tree, no presents, no swimming pool, no turkey he just wants to give of himself. Just ask and you will receive the important gifts and not those that tarnish and fade before you start the process over the next year. Now that is the true meaning of Christmas Vacation.

Thanksgiving.....

Well we are getting close now! All the traditions of thanksgiving were fulfilled and it is time to start on those for Christmas. I bet you are all wondering what the traditions of thanksgiving are, well for those who don’t know I will give you all a little taste of the season. 6 started his slumber on wed night his plan was to sleep for hours and not to wake until the sun was high in the morning sky. Tradition is just so difficult to break, at 5AM the scent of stuffing filled the air and 6 could just not resist. 7: Oh, that uh, that there's an RV. Yeah, yeah, I borrowed it off a buddy of mine. He took my house, I took the RV. It's a good looking vehicle, ain't it? 6: Yeah, it looks so nice parked in the driveway. (This could have happened, if 7 would ever get off his lazy butt and drive that so called dream of an RV.) Before 6 knew it 61 arrived, then OA, 8 and 63 rolled in “Let the eating begin” !  Oh, Lweis... If I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn to the carpet, I wouldn't be more surprised than I am now.  We try to try to stick to the four main food groups: candy, candy canes, candy corns and syrup. Turkey in the oven, turkey in the fryer, Rex in the glasses, tunes blasting, fuses blowing , family members scurrying it must be Thanksgiving! Edward, what's wrong with the dog? Oh, he's just yakkin' on a bone. He's got it up!   BTW what is about our family and wine at meals?  After the feast we all gathered in front of the tub to Kick-off the Christmas season, buy watching the classic of classics, the crème de la crème, and the greatest film ever produced Christmas vacation!  As per tradition, we did have a few technical difficulties, what’s that sound? You hear it? It's a funny squeaky sound. but 62 came to the rescue with here trusty ipad and saved the day!  Friday we continued with the traditions by once again firing up the fryer and 7 made us some fries, and his famous chicken wings, while the strakes were on the grill, and without question the Rex was flowing. We all consumed massive amounts of food, loaded the truckster, and were off to Lennytown ( Burn some dust here. Eat my rubber) to see Santa and the annual tree lighting! Hey, Kids, I heard on the news that an airline pilot spotted Santa's sleigh on its way in from New York City.  You serious, Clark? As tradition dictates (Russ, we checked every bulb, didn't we?) It took Santa 3 times to get the tree to light. We left the festivities, returned home to eat some birthday cake, and drink so nice warm apple cider. Can I refill your eggnog for you? Get you something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere and leave you for dead? Naw, I'm doing just fine, Clark.  Saturday was full of shopping ('Tis the season to be merry Oh, I was just smelling - smiling. I was just blouse - browsing. I, uh, heh heh. Well, I guess it just wouldn't... Oh hee hee, it wouldn't be the Christmas shopping season if the stores were any less hooter than they - HOTTER than they are. Whew. It is warm in here, isn't it?), movies and making the traditional lasagna dinner. With some more Rex. Before you know it was time for all to head back to the homesteads leavening 6, 6A and 62 behind to an old dark and empty house. 6 did do one thing different this year that broke tradition, 6 cleaned the old turkey fryer, he usually waits until the summer time, when he gets the beach chairs out of the shed to tackle that job, what a mess! Merry Vacation. Shitter was full.

Words of wisdom: The most enjoying traditions of the season are best enjoyed in the warm embrace of kith and kin.

It is turkey time!! 63 remember to bring the pictures!

This morning as 6 sat back in his easy chair, with a hot cup of coffee, gazing out the window of his office, he began to think about Thanksgiving back in the day.  It was a simple time, 6 did not wake up Thanksgiving morn, roll over in his bed, reach for the remote turn on the 60 inch LED TV, with cell phone in one hand and iPad in the other, and let himself be entertained with useless dribble from the electronic world. No he woke up to the fragrant orders of the season, fresh turkey roasting in the stove, homemade pecan rolls, bacon and eggs, and a big tall glass of milk!  Sometimes you really wonder if we really have made progress.  6 is going to give a little history lesson of how the dinner was prepared when 6 was a lad vs. now when he is a grumpy old man.

Take the turkey: today we go to the grocery store, buy $25 dollars worth of stuff and get a turkey for $.99 lb. this could be done weeks before the big day, because what you get is a 25 lb  free range hockey puck all wrapped up in a plastic bag. You take it home put in you new fangled fridge for several days to thaw, and at 6:00 AM come to find out that is still a hockey puck, so you take it out of the fridge and hope that the ice melts in time for you to put it in the oven.  The reason that you have kept it in the fridge is so that in the thawing process you don’t get bacteria to form on the bird. It is all about health. Back in the day, you went to the store on Monday, paid .10 cents a pound for un-plucked and .20 cents a pound for plucked bird, and of course you got the un-plucked bird, put it in a covered roasting pan, placed it on the back porch and hoped that the raccoons did not find it. Who ever heard of bacteria 40 years ago? Now the plucking of the feathers was a real event, if one has never done it before let me tell you from experience it is very difficult, and you end up with feather all over you and your little fingers are num and sore from being jabbed by each and every feather. But that was not a problem because when you got the bird de-plucked, you then had to go to the garden to pick the green beans. I now know why Thanksgiving is in November instead of July, it is not because of the pilgrims, it is because your hands were so cut up from the de-plucking that it stopped all of the blood from getting on the frozen green beans. But today, for the green beans you get them flash frozen from the same store you got your frozen turkey, you just have to put the bag in the nuke machine for 5 minutes and they are ready to eat! Well on about this time the sun would start to come up from the eastern sky and it would be time to chop some wood for the fire. So 6 would then proceed to the shack/shed/cottage whatever you know it as, find the axe and commence chopping wood, for the fire that would warm our hearts for the day.  The reason that 6 had to wait for the sun to come up was he had to walk for hours in the woods trying to find a tree had lived a good life, but was now ready to be turned into ash. 6 cut the tree down, cut the logs, split the logs and carried each piece up the hill to the house. Now mind you we did not have a chain saw or log splitter, all I had was one simple axe, that the head of the axe keep coming off, and the edge on the blade was more suited for breaking large blocks of concrete instead of cutting wood. Today what do we do, well we flip a switch and you have an instant fire. Well I think you now get the idea… oh one last thing… I bet you wonder what everyone else was doing while I was working my fingers to the bone…. Well that is simple, 7 and 8 were sitting in the house in their PJ’s eating breakfast all wrapped up in blankets watching Big Bird, Bert and Ernie, and the cookie monster’s in the Macy’s day parade.   5 was still sung as a bug in his bed, 4 was giving 7 and 8 breakfast, 1 was trying to catch a mouse, while 2 was telling him what kind of mouse it was. 3 was getting a shower, while 0 was in the basement fixing the water pipe that sprung a leak over night, while 0A was in the kitchen making the feast. Now I am not sure what happens at everyone’s Thanksgiving, but at around 5 PM we all settle down sit around the table just like we did in years past and enjoy the best gift of all…. Family.

Words of wisdom: The times and trappings may change, but never let the real meaning change

63 remember to bring the VACATION pictures!

The other day, the gas light came on in the corolla, darn I needed to go to WAWA and spend $20 dollars to fill er up. The good thing is that $20 will last me a couple of weeks. By the way, the truckster still has half a tank from vacation, so 8 when you come down for turkey day, I need some gas, if we plan on going to the annual Christmas tree lighting in Lennytown. 6 went to WAWA, and in front of me was a nice lady, standing there looking at the pump, here we go, she has no money and needs some gas! My ride is a corolla, and she in a Acura, nope she did not do that, she left the pump, and walked around her car and then returned to the pump and looked at it again, this happened three or four times. Now she really had my attention, then she got in the passenger side and pulled out the owner’s manual, and then put it back, and walked around the car one more time. As you could imagine, 6’s car was full of gas by now, but 6 could not help but watch he had seen this before, what the heck was going on. If she did not need money, did she loose her keys? Does the pump not work and she is getting impatient waiting? Is she taking her evening walk? IS she waiting for someone?  She then just leaned against her car and looked at the ground, as if she had lost her last friend in the world. After observing this, 6’s heart was broken, and just had to go and ask her if she need some help. Now mind you 10 minutes had passed since this ordeal started. As I approached her she welcomed me and began some idle chit-chat, and we all know how much 6 just loves to talk non-sense with people, so I just came out and asked her if she was having an issue with her car, and guess what, she was! Tell me that 6 is not the sharpest tool in the shed! As the story goes, she was in from Pittsburgh and had borrowed her brothers rental car. She thought it might be a nice gesture if she put gas in it, because she was probably going to run out before she got back to her brother’s house but she could not figure out where to put it! It was at this point once again, I felt if I had heard this story before. Hummm  A smile came to her face as I showed her where it went, 6 filled it up and off she went. As she pulled away 6 stood there and could not figure out where I had seen this before, and I still cannot, does anyone have any ideas?

Words of wisdom: We were all given talents, patience and understanding is essential for those who do not possess the same talents we were given.

Vacation 2014

“Oh Lord won’t you buy me a Mercedes- Benz”. For the more mature readers you all know what 6 is talking about, and for the young not necessarily at heart look it up.

One Friday night not so long ago, 6 was lounging on the deck of his abode, a glass of Rex in one hand,  a stoogie in the other, listening Janice on the Bose speakers, just reflecting on the opening ceremonies of the 2014 Kiawah vacation.  The recollection began in the condo,  it was time to make the annual pilgrimage to the local house of worship, seven of us crammed in the truckster, and off we went.  Upon our arrival we orderly exited the car as OA closed the back door of the vehicle leaving of course 7, helpless, left at the altar, high and dry, beached.  It was then when 6 realized he had left the beach camera back at the abode on the kitchen table. How depressing, for it was a classic 7, as he was confined in the back-back seat, arms up in the air with a look of wonderment on his face as he exclaimed “WHAT THE, just then horrific bolt of lightning eliminated the dark Kiawah sky, saving my unadulterated ears from the sediment emanating from the truckster,  6 being the consummate gentleman, defying   the wishes of the other passengers, went back and freed him from the all comforts of the truckster on a hundred degree day.   We found our customary pews, were then  greeted by the congenial pastor who as if on mnemonic gave is 30 second annual allocution, on the financial plight of his parish.    As church concluded as if on cue, the storm cleared, and the sun returned full and brilliant. It was now time to return to the condo for the gourmet meal, prepared from the loving hands of 6 and 6A. (Background for my loyal readers who do not know this)  As per tradition, the 6, 6A, 61, and 62, take an extra day of vacation, drive to Charleston, stay at a 5 star establishment, awaken from our slumber prior to the sun rise, so that we are the first customers to the farmers market in the square. After all by definition the opening meal of the 2014 Kiawah vacation sets the standard for the entire week. We purchased freshly ground wheat, for the pasta, heirloom tomatoes for the sauce, shrimp that was swimming  300 yards from Kiawah island not 2 hours before, bread that was just pulled out of a stone oven, free range beef for the meat balls, and last but not least organic greens for the salad. One stop remaining before we make our grand entrance on to the island.  Total wine and have the sommelier, choose the perfect pairing for our all natural, handcrafted, meal. This was the first time 6 ever took the time to work with a sommelier, on such an endeavor. The sommelier, asked several questions ranging from the obvious what kind of grub we would be putting in the old feed bag, to the sublime: social status,  background and taste of people , ages, sex etc. he was devoutly taking notes and then excused himself, and a short time returned back with four bottles  for 6 to taste.  The first was a Zinn, then a full bodied Cab, then a chardonnay, and finally a merlot. It was such a difficult decision, each of them perfect in their own right, so we decided on 6 cab’s, 6 Zinn’s and 4 merlots, and 3 chardonnay. The sommelier asked us to just proceed to the checkout and he will have our order delivered promptly.  While 6 walked to the checkout line, it hit like a ton of bricks what did I just do? Did I spend my whole vacation money on wine?” Well I If I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn to the carpet, I wouldn't be more surprised than I am now” Every last bottle he brought to the checkout line was “Drum roll please”  HMR! Bingo…Vacation money in tack. 6 better get back on subject here…. Back to the meal, it was everything that one might expect, as every last crumb was consumed!  After dinner the group relaxed in the parlor around the open fireplace and began to discuss the issue of the day. Very quickly 6A was bringing up topics that 6, 61,62 and 63 really did not want to hear about which was obviously influenced by the 8 bottles of HMR, and the case of beer that were consumed with dinner. It was at this point when 6 following the mandatory fun schedule, using the official beach watch noticed that it was time for the walk on the beach, so 6,7,8,61,62,63,32,71 grabbed a few more beers’ a 9^th bottle of wine, and the mini boom box cranked up the music then proceeded to the beach.  The moon was full in the eastern sky as we strolled up the beach, it could not have been more perfect, as nature was putting on a show to rival anything you could imagine. There was one thing that was a little bit strange, as we approached other people; they all seemed to give us a wide birth as if there was something really odd about us. Can you imagine that?? Eight people in a group walking down the beach warring hand painted wife beaters shirts, drinking wine and beer, listening to loud music, surrounded on one side by the ocean and the other by multi-million dollar homes, what could possibly go wrong with that picture.”Hey Dude keep your ____ —out of my beach community” Those elitist on the beach need to get a grip on what is really important in life. Just because we don’t have beach houses, fancy car’s, big hair (or any for that matter), does not mean we are not good enough to enjoy what has been given to all of us! After all we are all just walking along  enjoying , the silent majesty of a summers eve... the clean, oppressive blast of the vacation air... an assholes in their wife beater tee’s , dropping empty beer cans into our pristine beach...Need I say more! The conversation soon changed to the houses along the beach, and how nice it would be to be able to afford one of those homes. With-in about 15 minutes of that conversation went salient, 6 began to wonder how nice it would be to be able to afford a summer home on the beach, to be able to lay out millions of dollars, or to even have millions of dollars. Then just as the bolt of lightning struck 6 hours earlier, 6 began to realize, what he really had. If 6 was that loaded (with money),  6 would not be walking down the beach with kith and kin, he would be sitting all alone on the back deck of one of those house drinking growers champagne, thinking about how nice it would be to be in the middle of those idiots in their wife beater tee shirt, acting like fools all the while relishing each step. We should not be asking for a Mercedes-Benz, a color TV, or even a night on the town, we have it all. The most enjoying traditions of the Kiawah Vacation are best enjoyed in the warm embrace of kith and kin. Thith beach is a thymbol of the thpirit of the family Vacation. As another side note…hey 71 do you remember what we saw in the little pool of water on the beach, is that not why we left the condo in the first place!