Take a load off!

As I waited for the Friday afternoon rain to stop, I began the depressing task of packing for the long trip home after one more intellectually inspiring vacation to Kiawah. I gave our beach chairs the  place of honor (just like Aunt Edna) by tying them down on top of the good old 4 wheeled drive sleigh, and saying to myself “Self, We might be able to use our chairs for one more year”. After arriving at the good old homestead, enduring twelve intense hours of driving, what choice do I have other than to begin the meticulous process of chair preservation? I started by giving each chair a cleansing shower which washed away the beach residue while leaving all of their fond memories. I put special oil on all of their joints so that they would not creek and moan, as my joints do, and carefully placed them in a climate controlled spot in their home (the good old shed). This would ensure they would rest comfortably for the following year before coming out of their slumber to once again support my old fat butt for another week on the beach. (Fast forward to this year) We are approaching critical preparation time (in just a few days) so I decided it was time to  start thinking about vacation, why I wait until the last minute, I will never know! One hot humid Saturday afternoon, I went out to the shed and decided to awaken the chairs from their long slumber and gently bring them back into beach shape.  Upon arriving at the shed I realized that I did not have the key to the security system that I installed this past winter. You all remember, the one that I drilled a hole in my finger while installing the lock, the injury was well worth the pain knowing our beach chairs were  resting comfortably, in a secure facility(Shed). My finger will eventually heal, and I know my family appreciates the pain and suffering that I am willing to endure for your beach time pleasure.   I retrieved the key opened the door and to my amazement the facility (shed), was packed! Every square inch was taken as if squirrel was storing nuts, in this case junk. I proceeded to unload the shed in a effort to find the precious cargo, I got thru the Snow shovels, Easter, chandeliers, bike parts, vacuums, as I got to the Christmas items, ball of lights, our Santa statue, and the illuminated deer that somehow I had forgotten to unplug from the big ball of lights, what a tangled web we weave! (Looks like we are going to have fun decorating the house this year) I knew that I was getting close when I spotted the bogie boards, then as if the sun was rising over the ocean at Kiawah I spotted them!  I removed them carefully, and carried them to the front yard, to my dismay, it was time to get ready for church, so I put them in the garage, and could only spend the next several hours, wondering if they survived their long slumber. As a side note: Some voice in my ear was telling me  all about the junk that was thrown all over the back yard which earlier in the day so carefully removed for the shed and place neatly over my plateaus estate, no rain in sight, it is going to get dark, why would I care what the neighbors think, I will put it away tomorrow, I  have more important things to do, I am tired, the Rex is kicking in, I lost the key, do you want dinner, I am afraid of the dark, I have some homework to do.   Later that evening, I received some invaluable advice from a trusted old wise man in the form of a text message, it simply stated: why don’t you and the chairs take a walk thus getting me in shape for the many compelling journeys back in forth from the beach. What faced me now was the opportunity to get into “chair carrying shape” or I could put the STUFF back in the shed, guess what choice I made. I immediately took his sage advice the chairs and I began waddling back and forth on the street. In retrospect, I wonder if the wife and daughter and Mr. Bill were talking about what the neighbors would think if they saw me walking back and forth with those chairs, but then again, they probably said to each other, the neighbors know your father!   The next afternoon, I was finally able to spend some quality time with the chairs. The chairs and I left the comfort of the garage and proceeded to the yard so I could determine if they were in condition to provide our clan service for another year. I began a close safety inspection and to my disappointment, it looks like the elements won the fight, the rust had spread like a cancer. My diagnosis was that some major surgery would be necessary.  I retrieved my surgical instruments: chainsaw, wire brush, sand paper, hammer, and black paint for my safety a pair of leather gloves, and hockey mask, and began the long tedious task of reviving our old friends. I got 99% of the exterior rust removed, and covered the affected areas with some nice black paint that was re-purposed (this was an emergency). By the end of the day, the surgery was completed, and it appears that all but one survived. This repair although effective, just did not present the chairs in their best light, for the beautiful lime green and ocean blue of the chairs were now spattered and spotted with black paint, the situation began to weigh heavily on my ego. While spending Friday and Saturday evenings waddling back in forth on my street, provided me ample time to ponder the corrective action, all at once it hit me, paint the whole chair one color! You will all be happy to know that, as of today they are now all one color (kind of)! Now they will not have to feel self-conscious, when they are sitting on the beach enjoying the sun, or sitting out in the ocean.  I have used all of my expertise in outdoor furniture restoration to provide them one more year of enjoyment. I do not want give a premature prognosis, until we run some tests, but I do have to say I am a little concerned, about their upper limits as far as strength. Let’s face it they are ageing, their pipes are riddled with rust, the struts are corroded, which will lead to a possible failure of the pipes, leading to rust stains on my new swimming attire or a strut failure which would leave one just sitting directly on the sand. The ultimate test will be conducted on the first use, after I, eat 6 lbs of pasta, 5 cans of Mrs. Hunt’s spaghetti and 400 Wal-Mart meatballs! 

Words of wisdom:  As much as we try to hold on, THINGS come and go, it is painful and sometimes expensive, but they can be replaced.  

BTW, this year when you-all load up in the fictional RV and come down, to enjoy a couple of fresh turkeys, the chair restorations in the front yard will only enhance your holiday experience!

Unofficial cooking schedule

Since Ashleigh is dragging her feet putting out the food schedule (I think she's on version 4) mr. Bill graciously offered to create a schedule for us. Ashleigh was originally on board with this issue, but after bill bill had a few glasses of Rex he took matters into his own hands and pulled our names out of a glass bowl.

So, without further ado.....the (unofficial) cooking schedule.....which may become "official" if Ashleigh gets to version 25 without being satisfied ...

Saturday : Karen
Sunday : Byron and Natalie
Monday: Adam and Jason
Tuesday: Ashleigh and Lauren
Wednesday: Sara and Warren
Thursday: free for all
Friday: Alex and Andrew

I might say this is a real nice list here folks. Lots of interesting dishes and interesting pairings. I'm excited to see the meals that we will be having in kiawah!

Don't forget to check  for your morning text reminders. I know you all love this schedule. If I could get my turkey down there Sara and I would be making a real nice thanksgiving feast. Complete with a jello mold.

It is difficult to ride in the sand!

As time moves forward, never forget the things that are truly important. Popularity fades as does the sun each night, while kindness and generosity last forever.

One day a long time ago in a far off place, a couple of people started out on a long trek on three gator bicycles. The morning was not perfect, thus the reason for the bike ride instead of opting for the beach! As far as you could see were dark clouds, as the wind was howling at a constant 40mph. All-in-all the bike ride was a much better choice than sitting on a couch watching re-runs of Opera , while munching on  bonbons. I had already completed the road course, and saw my share celebrities (Paula and Reese) leading to my reluctance of the ride, so to entice me,  a new course was suggested. The new alternative, lead us down the beach several miles and abruptly ends at the Ocean course.  The first couple of miles were uneventful, I see this every morning as you-all will (see Itinerary). With each pedal of the bike, I became more interested in my surroundings as I was able to see the island in a completely different light! The waves acted like an eraser on a chalkboard (white board for some of you or smart board for still other) as it erased any remembrance of people before, it was as though we were the only people who had ever stepped foot on the beach. The only marks that were on the sand were tracks left by our tires, just like footsteps in the sand that would allow many people over history to follow in you way.  Our arrival at the ocean course was met with disappointment as any place that offered access to view the course was sealed by armed guards as if they were trying to protect a precious gem. The only choice we had now was to turn our bikes around and head home! As we made our turn we then realized the wind was now directly in our faces, (to make matters even worse it was messing up my hair) at this point it was blowing so hard that if you did not keep pedaling, the wind blew you backwards! For a world class rider like me, that did not even pose a challenge, but for my riding companions, well that was a different story. After about 5 minutes the grumbling started, our tracks from the ride up were now gone, so not only did we have to contend with the wind we also had to deal with the issue of not knowing where the compact sand was on the beach! We rode about a half a mile, providing us with plenty of challenges in the  sand, we decide to leave the beach and  hit the road. As we passed a different golf course we decide that we would stop in and get ourselves a nice cool drink of water, and to our surprise we got to meet a Heisman trophy winner! He had this huge display of which the center piece was his trophy, he also showed extreme pride in showing off the ring. Something was really wrong because this chance meeting just went on and on, and not to be rude, but we were now missing prime beach time. Due to our good hearted natures we stayed even longer what else could, the choice that confronted us was to leave a world class athlete all alone other than his lackey , or to gracefully walk away watching him stand there all alone with a look of sadness on his face! We did eventually decide to gracefully walk away, and sure enough, he looked as if he lost his last friend! Poor Johnny! That afternoon on the beach, (as we all do) I gave some serious thought to what just transpired.  Since I was the old man of the group, I remembered him playing football, the next old man (you know who you are) heard of him, but the young lady had no idea who he was. Therefore in less than a half generation, his memory was almost gone, but in one generation it was history! The only thing he had left in his life was an old tarnished trophy, and some lame stories of how he scored 4 touchdowns in one game.( he did have some fine white shoes on)  He did provided entertainment to people, so I guess that gets you money and fame, but just as the waves clean the beach, there are no footsteps to follow.

Words of wisdom:  Beware of whose footsteps, you follow for fame is fleeting but compassion is everlasting.

The answer to the question.. Top 10 US rock bands!

You often hear debates about “Nature Vs Nurture”. After long and insightful deliberation I have come to a definitive conclusion. I have completed a case study based on our family and the results demonstrate that NATURE is the answer. To summarize years of intensive research, just take a look at (Our) mom and dad. (Grandpa or grandma to some). Their personality traits were on opposite sides of the spectrum, while at the same time complemented each other, which resulted in balance and harmony, which has been passed down to us. (look at me ) Just like nature for example take a hurricane, high winds, torrential rains, flooding, physical and emotional destruction as trees start to fall, anything that is not tied down flying thru the air, while all you can do is hope that you can survive. Next comes the eye of the storm, you have sunshine, calm winds, and a general feeling of peace, but you know that the worst is yet to come. Finally it passes, and you can look all around you at the destruction, but yet so peaceful and calm. The sun is shining the air is crystal clear, all the dirt has been washed away, you now have a clean slate to rebuild or move ahead, you are now better than you were before. With authority I can say our parents created a majestic intellectual group of people (Well at least they created me). Given that correct assertion, you can start at the top of the list with Nick and end at the end of the list with Alex, and describe each individual as an D personality or an M personality. Given the fact that my assertions are correct (which they are because it is me) would also conclude this would flow down to the grand kids. (For those that have them)

In the pre-poker days, after the traditional gourmet dining experience, we proceeded to the drawing room to gather around the A/C vents, the men with the traditional southern attire jackets and matching shorts, and the ladies in their long cotton dresses. The Patriarch poured each of us a snifter of brandy at that time we were ready to commenced a conversation about how we would solve the problems of the world. After we came to several conclusive decisions as to how we would stop world hunger, and promote world peace, our conversation drifted to answering another age old question “What are the top 10 US rock bands of all times?” As you might imagine, we had quite a diverse group D&M’s therefore, it became increasingly difficult to determine which bands would fall in the top 10. As the night grew into the wee hours, we decided to call it a day, the unfortunate thing was we solved world hunger and world peace, but could not come up with a list of bands!   The next night although in a different condo, we continued our debate, after an hour or so of intense negotiations, a few members of our party had other pressing matters that required their attention (did not want to spend another night arguing over something that they could care less about) excused themselves for the debate. This was a revelation to this group, because for the first time in history an agreement could not be achieved. The  nature of the group must have been the cause, because it seemed to differ by age, (in this case generations), some actually considered female bands , while others wanted to include bands that portrayed political views, that were contrary to the correct political views. (Someone actually wanted to put Bruce Springsteen on the list) and yet others wanted new bands (the nerve of people). In the end world hunger and world peace proved to be no match but the top 10 US rock bands; this topic was just too difficult for this esteemed group to determine. 

As you  might imagine, I have been involved over the past several years in research on many different topics “Nature Vs Nurture”,” top 10 rock bands” to name a few(Just ask me and I will tell you the correct answer for any topic, to include the meaning of life) .  But today, I know that all of you will be proud that I have definitively determined the answer to both questions. First on Nature Vs Nature the evidence clearly is on the side of NATURE.  Second the top 10 US rock bands: At the conclusion of in depth research below you will see the top 10 US rock bands of all times. This was a list that the greatest minds, spanning several generations could not develop. To my surprise It had everything to do with “Nature vs. Nurture” is was all about D&M’s, generation made no difference, male or female made no difference, raised in CA or PA made no difference, PBR or IPA it made no difference, Rex or Rex it made no difference, Hippie or X generation want to be’s  made no difference do I need to go on?

1)      Doors  

2)      Nirvana

3)      The Jimi Hendrix Experience

4)      Linkin Park

5)      Metallica

6)      Green Day

7)      Allman Brothers

8)      Beach boys

9)      Ramones

10)   Alice in Chains

11)   The Byrds

12)   Motley Crue

13)   Red Hot Chili Pepers

14)   REM

15)   Can’t type it

 Words of wisdom: Nurture        The Way bears all things; Harmony nurtures them; Nature shapes them; Use completes them. Each follows the Way and honors harmony, Not by law, But by being

Tao Te Ching

A week in the life

Have you ever drawn a parallel between nature and personal feelings?

Look at the beauty of Kiawah. For how could you miss the anticipation of the first time you see the ocean, and being pummeled by the first wave?   Or taking that left turn from route 17 to Bohicket Rd. (State RD S-10-20 or Main Rd) and starting that gradual incline over the bridge while viewing the expansive Ashleigh (Ashley) river, marshes, and tributaries. Followed by the tunnel of trees and being mesmerized by the continuous flashes of sun and shade in your eyes and finally pass the big red tractor at farmers market, enter the round-about and you have arrived.  

Pay attention to the small things, every day take the time to appreciate the many natural and personal gifts that have been bestowed on us. For example: On Saturday as you are taking your first trip to the beach close your eyes, empty your mind (this should be easy) take a deep breath and notice how quiet it is, cherish the anticipation of what new experiences you will  encounter in the upcoming week, feel the air, listen to crickets, and most of all relax. Soon you will enter the “twilight Zone” now that you are in the zone (Rex might help with this) remove your shoes, sunglasses and IPod thus enabling you to fully experience what has been given you.  Now and only now you are ready to be accepted by the beach. Experience the texture and heat of the  asphalt, the cooling but yet still warm water in the puddles, listen intently you will start to hear the breaking waves, your eyes will experience the change from shade to the brilliance of the full sun. Asphalt will become wood, watch as the salamanders colors change from the intensity of the sun. Now you notice wood beneath your feet, as it becomes warmer and gritty, stop and take inventory of the changes around you. The change in the air, strong breeze, the sounds are no longer dominated by crickets but replaced by the rhythm of the ocean, stretch your eyes over the water to see hundreds of shades of green, look at the beach and feel the intense reflection.  Continue towards the water noticing that the wood turns to sand from uneven to smooth, from hot to warm to cool, you have now reached nirvana.  Early Sunday morning (Now we are back to the itinerary)   notice that the windows are all completely covered with dew. Step outside on your deck; and once again you will be transformed into yet a different world. Everything is wet, railings, floor, trees, spider webs, grass, walkways, feel how heavy the air seems after spending a long night in modern comforts, if you listen intently you hear the faint rumblings of the ocean, you might see a gator possibly a deer, or even a mountain lion, if you have been a good little boy or girl all year and if you are very quiet and patient you might hear the faint crow of a rooster. (Still on the itinerary)   Grab a cup of coffee then walk to the beach there you will experience: flowers opening to greet the sun,  turtles scurrying  for the open water, dolphins swimming, sand crabs, seagulls, and shrimp boats,  all while the sun  appears over the horizon. (Still on the itinerary)    Then do the same things that night, feel the cool breeze, listen to the surf, watch the reflections of the moon, as you see the ever changing patterns of foam on the beach.

On one of the last days do the same thing, (Still on the itinerary)   What do you see now, remember we are still at the same locations with the same people have things changed, or have you become a  hardened irritable grumpy old stiff grouch, because nothing has changes other than the  anticipation. Instead of enjoying the left turn, you have now turned right.  Now you don’t smell the coffee you need a cup, your first step on the deck is ghastly as you try to get your first breath of the humid air. Listen for the first crow of the rooster as the mountain lion growls as he is awakened by some fool dumping his recycling in the dumpster.  You hear the rooster crow again, as the deer are startled by your neighbor rev’n up his SUV. Once again you hear the rooster crow a third time as the 10 foot gator, you have seen each morning dives back in the pond as some idiot comes cycling down the path as his overloaded  trail  is hurtled into the pond. Now  your morning walk on the beach: the sun, I guess it is up there somewhere in the clouds, the flowers there gone, some kid picked them he was bored, seagulls there by the thousands (guess what is all over the beach now) that same kid has a bag of pop corn, the turtles no sign of them, shrimp boats all you hears is the dull humming of the diesel engines and see  long sting of black smoke. Time for the beach, you gather  your towel, chairs, books, (umbrella for one of you) etc. load up and start off to the beach for the day!  You are first struck by how many cars; do you think any of them would give you a break?  Forget hearing the ocean, now you hear an ocean of A/C. This time of the week your really starting to feel the heat, the chairs feel as if they weigh 20 pounds each, beach bag another 5 pounds and your towel 2 pounds. Every step you take the chair hits your legs, your (dogs are a barking) feet are killing you from asphalt , wood and sand, you trip over bikes, boogie boards and chairs that other vacationers have so kindly left in your path, all to reach a destination where you look for “place in the sand”.  You finally find your spot dump your junk, wipe the sweat from your eyes, walk down to the water, tide is out so you burn the bottoms of your feet, get hit in the back by an errant Frisbee, get run over by some old man on a bike, trip over a boogie board and fall on your butt, to find out the water  is warmer and calmer than the shower you just took. The night walk (Still on the itinerary)   now consists of: the moon? No that’s the light of the Charleston sewage treatment plant, (were you really thinking that was foam on the water)! Now you have to walk tight rope on one side “foam” the other side you might break your leg by falling into a turtle catching pit that some idiot spend the past several days digging.

er become detached and

Words of wisdom:

Learn from time, don’t let time learn from you.