Same Question allways a Different answers

 

Some people get great entertainment out of doing things that embarrass or aggravate other people. There are two things that come to mind, first feeding the seagulls at the beach, the other learning about history on the island. Let’s focus on History and let the vagabond birds have a break. 

One of the gems on paradise is the Sanctuary Resort and Spa. Let us start off with a little background of this Kiawah Landmark. The KICA was hearing rumors that a very important person was planning to make Kiawah Island a vacation destination. To that end they began construction on a grand resort that would be casual yet elegant. It had to be reminiscent of a seaside mansion, yet feel as if it had been on the island for centuries. In the summer of 2004, they had a soft opening prior to the arrival of 6 and his family. They deemed themselves ready and the week 6 and his family showed up they held the Grand opening.  For years they offered the proper conveniences like freshly brewed coffee on the veranda every morning, and fresh iced tea and pastries for an afternoon informal High or Low tea (not sure what the difference is ). There are many blog topics that feature the Sanctuary, but just like the Seagulls, 6 will focus on one tall tale.  The one tradition that has the longest tenure, would be, the evening stroll along the beach ending at the Sanctuary for a night cap. For anyone that has engaged in the PVV or the FKV that has at least once made the long journey to the famous bar (actually I don’t think it has a name), to enjoy the overprice libations, and captivating or its annoying conversation. One might be wondering why 6 with his wisdom, would allude to any conversation involving 6 be annoying?  This may cast some clarity on that… Going back 20 years, 6 has been asking one simple question of the server who delivers those magnificently overpriced libations. Any guess as to that question??? WELLL 7 … Who are those people in the portraits, hanging on either side of the rather expansive bar? Does anyone other than 6 appreciate that question? Of course, you do!!! 20 years ago, we would get an official sounding explanation, long and detailed, from the owners of the estate, to random people who were willing to have their portrait pained to represent random owners of the estate, we got some real fantasies. Here is the reality. When they made the hires at the Sanctuary, they exposed them to an extensive training program on the history of the building. Over the years it became painfully obvious, the quality of the employees doing the training became lethargic. For each person doing the training place little emphasis on the mystic of the building and its contents, and more on the needs of self-serving guests.  Let us fast forward to last year’s PVV, like clockwork, 6,7and 8 (4 and 4A elected to break with 20+ years of tradition and stay back at the condo) just after the headwaiter accepted  our order and walk away, 6 told 7 and 8, that he was going to ask the traditional question, when she arrived with our swills… Oh if looks could kill, they did not even bother requesting me not to for both of them knew it was nothing but a waste  of good breath. As usual, ½ hour later the headwaiter came back with our swill, but hold on, 6 could not ask the question, before he could utter a word, 7 asked her…. No not the question but if we could have some munchies that was on every other table. … Lack of training saved them for the moment, the real question was does 7 really want the munchies or was it since 6 was now on a fixed income, his mental decline would cause 6 to forget knowing it would be another hour before the munches would arrive? 7/8 must have really wanted those munchies, for after the hour wait, on que 6 asked the age-old question… Who are those people in the portraits? All were expecting a long-winded explanation with a slightly different take on the age-old story. To all of our surprise, she said that those people were her Aunt and Uncle!  Imagine the reaction! What is happing to the training and this prestigious resort and spa! To all-you-all’s disappointment the saga continues to this year’s PVV. Yes, 6 asked the same question, and to all of our surprises the answer to the question was even more disappointing, although you have to give points for honesty. The PVV answer she gave was: “I don’t KNOW!” this causes one to wonder if 7 and 8 slipped her a few bucks to answer that way. At this rate, in another 5-6 years the Foremost Resort and Spa on the east coast (slipped to #9 this year), will become alternative to Motel 6. Let us all hope that KICA, takes the advice of its founder, and train its employees in the fine art of hotel management. BTW 6 figures that the reason why they would elect a Penn State Grade to president, was PSU is world recognized for its Hospitality (hotel/Motel/Resort) Major. One thing that has not changed in the past 20 years, to get an actual drink at the tables in the bar, it takes a at least an hour, is that all part of the Sothern Charm, or its poor service? Tune in for the next episode of the blog to find out the answers to the mysterious questions: Whom are the people in the portraits, and can they deliver an order faster than an hour. We will all know soon for FKV, will be here before we know it.

Time to go Banana is calling.

 

 

Words of Wisdom: Living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see.

JL

Gotta Love Miracles

 

If you did not know, lunch time in Harris Teeter parking lot at THE FIELDS, can be an oasis of brilliant observations. One may ask, how can 6 tie the parking lot at the local grocery store, to a day on the beach. Sit back and enjoy. On PVV, all of the old folks (owners) come to the beach, swaggering in the entitled world they occupy. Their perceived entitlement extends to all aspects of their lives, not just the four walls Al Bundy claims as his castile, thus making them, oblivious to the world around them. One day, as 6 was walking to the store from the packed parking lot, taking his good old time, for it was only Tuesday high noon and this was the 14^thtrip to the store. 6 was displaying his virtue of Patience, trusting that 4,7 and 8 would exercise priority and complete their shopping in an expedited fashion. It was at this pint 6 noticed an owner in a Maserati Lavante circling the parking lot, much like a vulture stocking its prey. Finally, she found a free parking space, what 6 realized she was looking for a spot where she could do a “Pull thru Maneuver”. Since this person was an actual owner, and a contemporary of Moses, she pulled the ultimate trick… 6 calls it the ½ pull thru, which means leaveing the back end of the car in the space behind the one they intended to park in. Only an entitled person, would understand this move, two for the price of one. Since it was lunch time, many of the workers where coming in to get their lunch, so guess what, here comes a dually, pulled right behind the Maserati, so close that one could not fit a hair between the bumper of the truck and the lift gate of the SUV.  Just about that time the owner and her great granddaughter came back with her cart full of groceries, the look on her face was incredible, veins started to pop, red faced and walking as if she was and exterminator of the ants beneath her feet! She could not get the groceries in her SUV because there was no way possible to lift her tailgate!  She was faced with three choices. First put the cart in front of her car, no room to put it on the side, and carry each bag to one of the side doors of her SUV. Second, 6 offered to help her do exactly that, but since 6 had not shaved or showered in the past 4 days she told me to go about my business, she did not need any of my help. Logic and love for others would lead one to that being the best option, but not for a self-centered narcissist owner, of course, she had an even better Idea. Third, pull her SUV out of the space, and park it in the middle of the road, this way she would have access to her tailgate, and would not have to extend any additional effort. It did work (for Her) but for anyone else who wanted to get out of the parking spaces, or drive on the road, they just had to wait. The funny part was while she was pulling out the owner of the Dually pulled away. Did someone say that patience was a virtue? That was no concern to this owner, for the world is hers not ours. The miracle would have been if the owner would have just demonstrated a fragment of patience or concern for others, her granddaughter and all the world would have been in balance.  What does a crowded parking lot have to do with a beach? The true miracle would be, for one to demonstrate patience and empathy for others, passing those virtues one from one generation to the next.  Tell me this kind of behavior doesn’t extend to the beach, not necessarily old owners, guess who taught the young beach goers in the art of beach decorum?

Several years ago, 62 gave 7 and Miraculous Metal. This metal was one of 7 prized possessions. He wore with pride and humility for years, life was good. Then one fatal night a very bad storm passed through his neighborhood. The storm knocked out the power, and downed several branches onto his yard and driveway. It appeared that an F-5 storm destroyed his yard, but left his house in perfect condition.  The next morning 7 had to do some major clean-up prior to leaving for work, for a rather large branch had deposited itself in the middle of his drive way. 7 proceeded to cut then drag the branches to the woods so he could get his car on the road, and proceed to work. 7 completed the task and was able to make it safely to work. But upon arrival, he felt as if something was wrong, not exactly sure why he was feeling other than things were just not right. After a long uncomfortable day at the office, 7 realized that what was bothering him, the Miraculous Metal was missing! Before he knew it, he was on his way back home and traced his every move he made while moving the branches, hoping that he would miraculously find the Miraculous Metal. No luck, the metal was nowhere to be found. Over the next several years he tried may different approaches to find the metal, including using a metal detector. Still no luck! As it happened, exactly 5 years to the day, another major storm swept through his neighborhood. This time he woke up to water damage to the wall along his driveway, and not downed branches. Since it was Saturday (no work) he began making the necessary repairs to the wall. One of the steps was to get fill dirt from the woods. On the final wheelbarrow load of topsoil, as he dumped it in the hole, he noticed something reflective peering out of the soil. Low and behold he found his prize position. The Miraculous Metal in perfect condition. 5 years to the day that he lost it. WELLLL 7 that is a true miracle!!

Just imagine what it would be like at the gate to Paradise if Barney would just disseminate Miraculous Metals instead of paper passes and owner stickers. Over a short period of time Virtues would conquer, self-absorbed behaviors. The narcissists would all end up in the woods with all of the other broken branches.

 

WORDS OF WISDOM: "Miracles do not, in fact, break the laws of nature."

C.S. LEWIS

A day at the gate

 

 

Last Friday on the Kiawah post, 8 said he saw a new color tent. Since 6 is expecting large checks from being an “Influencer” 6 better do his advertising. Well for a limited time SHIBUMI is offering an Orange and Light Orange tent, instead of the Classic Blue and Light Blue. Why can’t people just leave things alone! Dad Heeler is not going to want an orange tent, he will want the blue one! When will people learn, it is not always the best to make un-necessary changes. Let it Be!

We are living in an extraordinary time, the beach at Kiawah is undoubtedly a microcosm of life. For the past 20+ years, the first thing one does upon entering Kiawah, is to pass thru the pearly gate. The protocol is simple, yet multifaceted.  First you must have an island pass on your dashboard, second and probably the most important, your schnozzle must be held high and proud. Finally, never under any circumstances make eye contact with the security guard (Barny on most days) for if you do, he may deem not worthy of succeeding the entrance criteria. The criteria  is multi-faceted but successfully measures the degree of narcissism in your aura.  For all-you-all Seinfeld fans remember the soup Nazi if you are deemed worthy, you get a bowl of soup, and in this case, if you are arrogant enough you get waved on the island. Not exiled to the dreaded Beach Walker Park where you can be a spectator, but under no circumstances ever admitted nor acknowledged in paradise. WELLLL ALL We actually fall into the parade of lemmings, the things one must do to enter paradise. Now that 6 is on a fixed income and has more free time than grains of sand on the beach, why he doesn’t drive to Kiawah? WELLL 7 let me tell you!!! Where do you think Barney will tell me to go, when 6 pulls up in a 2004 Toyota corolla?  

On PVV this year, 6 observed the attributes of self-centered narcissists that topped the charts, and doesn’t even include our trip to the OC, Barney was really on his game! As it is common knowledge 3 prefers chairs as close to the boardwalk as tangibly possible. On Sunday when 6 went down to the beach, the chairs were a country mile from the boardwalk. Humm! What feasibly can be done about this?  Since we are in paradise, the Kiawah resolution would be to just go over and mandate that scooter (want-to-be) immediately move us to the top of his perfect line. Problem, all the chairs were already occupied, and since it is a Scooter (want- to-be), he would definitely not have the societal proficiencies to pull a coup this  complex.  Let us not forget past words of wisdom “All Good things come to those who wait” Voilà by Tuesday morning our chairs were one group from the boardwalk! All is well in Paradise. Hold the phone! All week we noticed the beach decorum had significantly eroded from previous years. People were proceeding to the beach and just dumping their junk, exhibiting no consideration for others. (SUprise/SUprise) if they would just walk 15 feet down the beach it was empty. If there was enough space to sit their portly bottoms down they went! Here is a good one! One group came down and put up their SHIBUMI and had the audacity to moved two chairs behind them so they could fit their SHIBUMI where they wanted it. Now that takes some real nerve! That will teach people to leave their chairs and go for a swim in the ocean! Back to our situation… WELLLL 7 The real reason we moved up the line, was not patience but absurdity! The first people in the line happened to be a group of about 10 people, they were a multi-purpose group, they rented chairs and also brought their own beach clutter. The jumble included a Yeti Hopper Flip 18 soft cooler in Grey holds 28 cans  they transported they set up right in front of the boardwalk entrance so that anyone who wanted to go to the beach had to walk an extra mile just to get around them. The chair part of the group was really “took the cake”. For, they like to play “corn hole” NO not the same as “corn fixin’s”, but 6 is sure they had some in their Yeti Hopper Flip 18 soft cooler in Grey holds 28 cans as to not bother the people in their own group, they set up the corn hole court in front of the next group of people, and as 6 said earlier, on Tuesday that was us.  6 came to find out, that the other groups of people asked the Scooter (want-to-Be) if they could move further down the beach away from the corn hole people. So, he honored their request and every day we just moved closer to them. Not sure the best way to describe these people. Yes, they were extremely self-centered their actions all day long proved that, or they may have been recent lottery winners? One would expect this kind of behavior at the Jersey Shore, in fact the family looked like third generation people from Italy. The man probably worked hard all day, and right after work went to the local bar and spent his pay check on 50 cent draft Iron City beers. In most recent times, had invited his two sons to join him, in order to keep the family tradition alive and well. Any way all-you-all get the picture. Between the ‘corn holers” and the tent people otherwise known as squatters, Ang has been doing one masterful job training cousin Barn in the fine art of people judging. The new moto should now be All for me and me for myself, not One for all and all for one. 

 

 

 

WORDS OF WISDOM: Being honest may not get you the most friends but it will get you the right ones.