One last week to vote...option 5 is in the lead

The expenses are starting to come to roost. We now have a customized shirt, all we have to do, is let 71 know what size, send her some cash, and we will be some clan sitting there on the beach!!!I see a nice family picture in our future!

Last weekend 6 and 6A meet some friends and joined them at a concert at the local fire hall. I will start from the beginning. In the spring time 6 was doing his best to get a pre-Kiawah vacation lined up, by jumping in 7’s “fantasy” RV and head to Dover for the fire fly concert, it was going to be a 4 day event, with over 60 bands. 6 was really pushing this, 6 had commitments from 21, 21A, 4, 6A, 61,62,63,8,71,7A,32,33,34, and even 5, 5A, 51 and 52, were thinking about it was going to be a wonderful time could you just imagine that! In fact Imagine Dragon was going to be at the concert! Well if you go back and look at the list of names that committed, look real hard, and you will find that the grouchy old 7 was not on the list. Is it because he doesn’t like music (no), doesn’t like to be with the clan (no) doesn’t like to drink HRM (no), doesn’t like to spend money (could be) or is it that 7 only has an image of the infamous RV. Back to the story, while I was looking for another venue, I notice that Sheryl Crow was going to be in our back yard, at one of the local firehouses. When 6 put that out for comment, all we heard was NO’s, but by Monday 6 heard that the tickets were purchased. 6 could not have been more surprised if he woke up and found his head sown to the side of 7’s RV. Time marched on and before I knew it 6 was in the truckster driving to the firehouse for the big event. 6 turned into the street that the firehouse was on and saw nothing but car parked everywhere that is what happened when you arrive 20 minutes before show time. As luck would have it some nice young lady waved us over to park in a lot directly across the street, with easy access to the side road that would take us home, what a blessing! We precede to the grounds a whole 100 yard walk, got us some grub, and found our seats. The seats were great, plastic folding chairs in the grass, there was just  enough room to walk thru sideways, if someone was sitting in the chair you were passing you basically stood up and gave them a big county hug. The music started an it was a good concert, 6 did not realize how country she was, and if I heard one more time lets go back 20+ years 6 was going to walk. Concert was over, we got out of our $20 parking space missed all the traffic and was home in a jiff!  Now let’s take a look at behind the scenes of this concert. Parking, it was a great spot, but $20 it is no wonder that the lot was only half fool (full). Tell me this is not typical county move.. After we gave her the 20 spot, she told us to follow the guy in the 34 shirt let’s see what it really Brice Harper? Nope it was some guy with a beer in his one hand and a smoke in the other directing me how far to back up. On the way onto the grounds I was thinking that I was on my way to the county fair, all you could see was vendors selling food and beer, and my first thought was 6 is not going to wait in those lines to get some grub, but then remembers we are in the county, and there are no lines, just rude people. They get their food or drink and just don’t move out to the way, they just stand there shooting the bull with anyone willing to talk to them. It was at this point when 6 became aware that he was actually one of the younger people at the concert.  There were two types of people at the concert, first the overwhelming majority were you typical county fair goers, tee shirts or wife beaters, old ball caps drinking a bud light in a 10 oz can. The others housewives of Beverly Hills’ want a bees, long summer dresses, fancy sunglasses, designer bags drinking the other choice Michelob ultra, in a 16 oz can, no Rex to be found. So guess what happens next.. it is time to be seated, all of the group A people go in find their seats plop their butt down, crack another beer and wait for the concert to start. 6 was thinking this is not bad even though these seats are one on top of the other they are not full so 6 has a little room to stretch out. Soon the warm-up band was over and it was time for the main event to start. Here comes group B all of the housewives of Beverly hills’, pushing their way thru the aisles, as only a snob could, being faced with some drunk county boy with his wife beater tee shirt with an imprint of a monster truck and a USA flag, who’s beer gut is larger than the space in the isle. Soon enough all were settled, and the music began, at which point the Hills people stood up and blocked the view of the county people. It actually went to the point where some county boy ask one of the hill people to sit down so that people behind them could see, the hill lady said no, and gave a smirk behind those dark hills sunglass and they remained standing for the remainder of the concert. By now you all are wondering what this has to do with Kiawah, well let me tell you! It happened a few years back, when we were staying in the 2 bedroom condos, and while on the beach if you remember off to the right hand the beach of wide open.  It was a bright Sumy day nice ocean breeze, and the waves were large, and the tide was on its way in. About 50 yards down the beach was a man and his kid, sitting there on towels, with their green bucket and shovel. The little tike and dad, spent most to the day digging in the sand and playing in the water, just as it should be.  On about 2:00 here comes a family, Mom Dad and 2.3 kids (actually there were just two).  Their wagon was overflowing with beach stuff, just like the new SUV they pulled up in. They walked along the beach and stopped right in front of the man and his child and proceed to unload all of their crap. The old man got his shovel out and dug two holes and proceeded to put up the umbrellas while the mother unloaded the rest of the crap. They sat their drinking their designed bottled water, eating fruit, all the time their kids were running wild. The best part was when the kids came back, the mother handed them towels to dry off, and  they proceeded to let their towels flap in the wind, dumping tons of sand all over the people sitting next to them.  Do you think that the old man or old lady said anything to them, well of course not! But in the end the joke was on them, as 6 stated the tide was on its way in, so within an hour or so, they were sitting in the water some of their junk started to float away, as their umbrella’s fell into the water. Mean while the man and his boy just sat there high and dry and watched them. The old man and old lady had nothing left to do but to take their wagon and go home, for there was no room for them at the beach.  And you wonder why this old man thinks it is critically important for us to get there early and stake our claim!

Words of Wisdom: Don’t sweat the small things, you will always be remembered for how you accommodate others, but in doing so, never compromise your principals.

We need your votes!!!!!

We are getting closer and closer as each day passes. The other day when I went out to my drive way to enter into my new ride, 6 felt as if he was taking his first steps towards the beach for the morning walk. When the front door opened all one could feel was the intense heat and humidity. Upon stepping out and gently closing the  door behind me,  as to not disturb other individuals who were sound sleep as well as not letting  the oppressive heat into the house. The sunglasses immediately fogged, and the droplets of perspiration began to form on my body. Gazing upward towards the heavens, one could sense the first glimpses of sunlight appearing through the clouds. All around you was the constant music emanating from the various forms of life waiting to start or end their day. 6 entered his ride, and started the leisurely dive to work, windows open as to get the full effect music provide by Mother Nature. Upon arrival, was greeted by a family for ducks, he then proceeded into the building where he made the morning coffee, and sent a morning wake up text to 63, while gazing out the window watching as the sun rose over the tree tops.    Ok you are by now wondering what this has to do with vacation, well let’s do this in Kiawah talk! 6 opens the screen door for 6A and OA, lets it slam behind them, proceeds to walk straight into the railing, because he can’t see thru his fogged sunglasses, walks down the stairs swatting away the wet cob webs that the spiders spent all night weaving in their effort to catch the miserable bugs that are making so much noise. Once we reach the bottom of the stairs we all stop and ask the million dollar question “does anyone have a key?” 6 responds by saying what does that matter, we left the front door open. As one might imagine, 6A doesn’t like that response,” how safe is that, the girls are in there, and the A/C is on”. 6 gets the message and storms back up those 42 steps, thinking the whole way what the heck..Every one down here is sleeping, and 6 is not paying for the electric bill so who cares! 6 finally reaches the landing, slams the front door, to ensure it is closed, and lets the screen door close on its own, as he turns to walk back down those 42 stairs, saying no-one is sleeping now!  As we progress towards the beach in the dark, we are faced with sprinkler heads that are watering the asphalt paths and on the vegetation, puddles of water which attract the deer, snakes and gators, , a forest of spider webs, miscellaneous beach items (towels ,flip flops, 6A likes those etc) but the trooper that 6 is just keeps on navigating the way to the beach for 6A and 0A. Once we reach the beach we are greeted with the sound of the diesel engines of the shrimp boats, the sun we know is on its way up, but is now nowhere to be seen thru the massive storm cloud over the sanctuary. By this time our shirts are dripping wet from the sweat, but then again, 6 had that same shirt on for the past two days, and with any luck that storm cloud will drop some rain clean my shirt, and reduce the stench of a two day old shirt.

Now we can discuss the living arraignments in the condos. Facts: 6 bedrooms, 11 people, 9 beds, two couches, 4 males, 7 females..

Option #1...Standard old configuration

Option #2 6,7,8,32 one condo….0A, 4,6A, 61,62,63,71

Option #3 0A, 4, 6,6A,7, 8…….21,32,62,63,71.

Option #4 0A, 4,6, 6A,8, 63…..61,32,62,71,7.

Option #5: 6A,0A,4,61,62,63,32,71….6,7,8

Since we are a democratic family, we are going to put this to a vote! 6 expect a vote from all members of this year’s vacation crew that means a minim of 11 votes. If there is a tie, then the person who guesses my logic behind each option will act as the tie breaker. I will accept and expect votes from other readers as well. The voting opens today, and will close at midnight on July 3^rd, thus the fireworks can begin!

Words of wisdom: There are always two ways of looking at things, having a positive attitude can even make the mundane worth living for.

We are getting closer each day!

All you need to do is bring a checkbook, a debit card or the old stand-by cash, and the great and wonderful organizer will turn this old family vacation into shear bliss. How you ask……. well your bank account may be empty, but your mind will be filled with memories that will carry you the full year. 6 has given up hours of his leisure time, combing thru hundreds of documents in an effort to discover  the magic, that causes  thousands of weary souls to make the pilgrimage to the low country each year. Below you will find a sample of the events that take place each year that makes Kiawah the polished gem that it is. In other words: a place for people with more money than brains, who can call it a family vacation, but drop off their wife and kids, play golf, eat at up-scale establishments, take pictures of opulence, and never lift a finger. Below is just a sample of the extensive research that has been conducted.

Moonlight Yoga on the Beach, Kiawah Beverage Series, Family Beach Cornhole Tournament, Pottery in the Park,  Sunday Sundaes, Family Boat Building Challenge, Mingo Point Cooking Demo, GenMove Family Game Show Challenge, Birds of Prey, Kiawah Sundown Festival, Bingo & Floats, Sunset Raw Bar, The Big Game Show, Dive In Movie, Ice Cream Socials, Arrival Party at Night Heron,  Tiki Time at The Cabana Bar,  Summer Concert Series,  Spike Ball, Extreme Laser Tag, Archery Lesson, Bicycle Riding lesson, Stand-Up Paddle boarding, Oil Painting Instructions,  Surf Lessons, Kite Boarding lesions, Swimming Lessons, Sunset iPhoneography,  Beach Tennis,  Happy Hour Cooking Class, Sunrise Yoga on the Beach, Tai Chi on the Beach, Biking Tours,  Scales and Scutes,  Dolphin Encounter, Sunset Cruise, Shutterbug Photo Cruise, Kayaking Tours ,  Stand-Up Paddleboard Tour. This is just a sample of things for us to do this year that will only have the effect of brings us closer together as a family unit.

Before you all go ballistic on 6, take a deep breath, sit back close your eyes and picture a typical day. That is a tall order for most of you so 6 once again will come to the rescue. Picture this, it is Tuesday morning, the sun is just below the horizon, waiting for 6, 6A, and 0A to adorn the beach to kick off the day. 6 is fast asleep, dreaming of, well we won’t go there, and begins to feel the calling of Apollo ( the sun god), asking him to awaken so the world can start a new day. 6 opens his eyes, and jumps out of bed, full of vim and vigor and turns to 6A and says “Dear, morning has arrived, and it is now time to get up and have our cup of Jo, go to the beach as the sun welcomes us to a new and gracious  day”.  6A glares back at 6 and replies “Really…. You are kidding me…. You woke me from my golden slumber, to leave comfort of my condo, and go into the abyss, where it is dark, torrid, sweltering, mucky, sandy nasty……  I want to sleep, I don’t want to go today…oh I guess”.   6A runs down to the kitchen to brew her master some fresh brewed Jo, enabling us to get under way. All the while Apollo has been benevolently awaiting 6’s arrival, so he can regally emanate to greet the world. 6 don’t want to give the wrong impression, the world does not revolve around him, the sun does. While strutting on the beach 6 does some of his best intellectual contemplating, but for a brief moment, 6’s mind is diverted to a curiosity about what the rest of the clan might be doing back at the condos.  They are probably…. No… definitely sound asleep, sawing logs, talking in their sleep, tossing and turning, but, still in bed at 6:15 AM! That reminds me, we often have discussion about changing who stays in which condo, and over the years there have been many suggestions, with no conclusions.  6 has some brilliant ideas and of course a solution, but more about that in a future blog. Once the Apollo has fully exposed its brilliance, we head back for our morning bike ride. 6 re-fills the Jo, and proceeds to condo #2, wondering if anyone has broken their slumber, and is interested in joining us for our ride.  6 enters condo#2 to find 4, 7, and 8, brewing their morning Jo, watching Good Morning America, while commenting on every segment including, the morning Charleston rush hour traffic. 6, 6A, 4 and 8 head out for the morning bike ride, experiencing the same houses, same bumpy bike path, same people, same gators,(BTW last week there as an article in the Charleston news paper where there was a  14 foot gator walking across some rich person dive way on the island)  the only choice we have is, deciding which direction to go, and after two days that decision is also gone. Once again  7 is still sitting on the couch watching TV drinking Jo, 61,62,63,71,and 32 still sound asleep.  Upon our arrival, back at the condo’s, 7 still has not moved, 61 is on the beach, 62,63,71 and 32, are getting ready for the beach. One could only imagine what 21 and 21A are up to! On about 10:30, 6 start the long arduous process of gathering all of the STUFF that makes everyone’s day at the beach as pleasant as possible. (chairs, umbrella, botchy ball, Frisbee, sunscreen, water, shades, tuneage, new item for this year a plastic bottle of Rex, shovels, buckets, balls, boards,  need 6 go on?)By the time 6 captures all of that STUFF,  61,62,63,and 71 are all ready on the beach, enjoying the morning sun and waves. In reality, 6 has to grab all of that STUFF, and drags it thru the hot sun, across the long asphalt path, down the splintery boardwalk to finally arrive at the beach to strategically begin the set-up to ensure that our stake has properly been claimed. As a side note: 6 has noticed over the years, the 7 and 8, look out of the window of condo #2 and watch for 6 to gather all of the STUFF , as 6 places the last chair, at the far corner of our claim, that is the exact same time that  7,8,6A,4, 21A (21 is still MIA)grace us with their presence. The gang’s all here time for.. Sun, waves, family, games, music and reading? On about 3:00 we start to lose some people,  6A goes back to watch GH, 61, goes back to read her books, 7 goes back to (sleep, drink some more Jo, watch some TV, chat on-line, read some email who knows) ??? On about 5:00 6A returns with wine and cheese,  6A,6,4,71,62, 21A,63 and 0A, gently open the bottle(s) of Rex, and enjoy the new hour of peace and friendship on the beach. Then it is clean-up time, dinner, Doritos poker, and once again time for bed. Now there are days with slight variations like 21 and 21A might go on a field trip, or 21,21A 8, 32 and 6 go and play a round of golf, or ladies night out, but with those few exceptions, 6 got it 99% accurate. How about this for a Tuesday! 6:00 sun rise yoga, 8:00 guided bike tour, 11:00 Family Beach Cornhole Tournament, 1:00 , Mingo Point Cooking Demo, 2:30 Kite Boarding lesions, 4:00 Spike Ball, 5:00 wine and cheese,  6:30 dinner, 8:00 Family Game Show Challenge, 9:00 Moonlight Yoga on the Beach. Or even another way of looking at it: Sunday morning starts with great anticipation, but Tuesday, we are all settled into our routine. If we mix in a well balanced diet of special events, everyday will be filled with anticipation of the wonderful MANDITORY activities the vacation planner has in store for you! Since 6’s biggest concern is the happiness and mental/physical well being of my fellow vacationers, 6 will be called command central. 6 will give up all of the MANDATORY fun, and after his morning walk and bike ride, 6 will sit on the beach for the rest of the day, and use my professional skills of dealing with people , so that there will be absolutely now lost time in the transition from one MANDITORY activity to the next.  What do you all think!

Words of wisdom: Memories and experiences are made, routine happens

It is now officially time for us to start getting ready!

Down payments on condo are made, travel arrangements should be in the book, and so now we have to begin the thought process over the annual family picture on the beach! BTW I really don not think that 6A cares much about this picture, since she starts out strong, but there is never any execution.  Does it get any better? I was thinking the other day that since 6 is the great organizer, that I better get started on the ground rules, cooking schedule, daily mandatory fund activities, and most of all do a follow-up on people assignments. For example how is 61 doing family “wife beater” shirts? How is 32 doing on the John Lennon shades? All they have to do is drop a comment on the blog, and the rest of us will know! 6 has started looking into things, for example 6 made contact with  local photographer, and he has some slots available for the week that we are there, it is only going to cost us $250 for a two hour shoot, plus we get a free 8x10 printed shot, if we can find the coupon.  He wants the money up front, so 7 when the mood fills your spirit, send 6 the check,( 6 prefers cash from you)  and 6 will lock down the day and time! While you are breaking the seal of your wallet, why don’t you help out 6A and pick the dress code for the shoot! No you do not get the free 8x10 that is mine for doing all of the upfront work!  6 has also been checking into guided walks into the marsh, surf lessons, paddle board lessons, family basketball, soccer, Friday night ice cream social, sea food buffet and many more. The events that 6 is researching this year will guarantee Hap/Hap Happiest vacation since the Pirates were in the world series. All you all have to do is:  bring your check book and a positive attitude,(in other words cantankerous, crotchety, grouchy, irritable, sullen, surly, testy, disgruntled, griping, grump, pettish, have a couple months to transform themselves into cheerful, happy, nice, pleasant  suns of guns)  and you will leave this  island paradise after a week or so, with a smile on your face, and memories to last you a life time.

Reality check! I was looking at the beach cam today and it was an over cast morning, as one might expect there were only a few people out for their morning walk. Later in the day I checked back and there were a few more people and as the weather man called it “light rain”. What gives with that!  Our clan…unless it is just 6.. Works hard all year long, and counts the days, minutes and seconds, until the old truckster pulls it load onto the island, and the yearly fight with beachwalker over the keys to the condo begins. What are these people doing! It is the last day of their vacation, are they afraid of a little rain? What the heck, grab a bar of soap, and take their shower on the beach! By noon they sure should be at the beach! Think about what most people do at the beach, they sit in a chair under an umbrella or the $79.99 tent that they just purchased at wall mart, and do whatever they do, and once in a while they get up and go into the water. On a sunny day they protect themselves from the sun and a rainy day they protect themselves from the rain. SO tell me this… “at this point what difference does it make” 6 repurposed that famous quote from Hillary Clinton. Let me put it in terms that are easy to understand, the average rental down there is around $700 per day, some a little more and some less, if anyone is willing to dump $700, then pass it my way, and I will get myself the “Big Green egg” and we can have grilled turkey this year for thanksgiving! . You know we have not had an episode of reality check, and that beach cam got me all fired up! The other day 6 sat down after a long stress full day of work and decided to watch some TV, and the first thing I saw was a TMZ video of Bouncy’s sister fighting with JZ on an elevator. Come on that was on prime time news? Other than Bouncy being the first family’s idol, who cares!! Other than the first family spending our Tax dollars. Speaking of first families, on MeTV they are showing   “All in the Family”. Back in the day 6 was not a real fan of that program, but now it really is starting to intrigue me. The show’s focus was on social issues back in the 70’s. My reality check on that is they could just take the scripts from those shows, change the names of the characters, and bingo.. They would have a new hit show called “Modern Family”.  We had another major retirement in the news, Barbra Walters, or better known as Baba Wawa, remember that from SNL, every time 6 ever saw her on TV after that show, he had no idea what she was saying because he was laughing so hard,  they nailed her.  How about the NFL draft, ESPN must have spend 24 hours a day for the past 4 months talking nothing except, who are the top 10 people who are going in the draft.  That came and went, and other than all of them being incorrect, who cares.. It is a show about a bunch of spoiled college kids, who now have more money than brains, who received a free college education (on my tax dollars), want to start a players’ union, so that they can get paid even more money, for what!!!  I guess that is why they made such a big deal about Barbra Walters retirement, we idolize worthless dribble! How about the NBA basketball team owner, it is just crazy what he said, but after all this is the USA, he can say what he wants, and they have no right to force him to sell his team, the guy should sue the NBA until they go into chapter 11. Since this is the USA, he has a business and if people are offended by him or the product he produces they should not support the team, if the players don’t want to play for his team, then don’t.. if the market demands want the team to go away it will!  Ohhhhh give me eggnog!

Back to the topic… If people want to spend their last day of vacation doing nothing, but things they could be doing at home, in other words being a total drain on society well let them… This will not be us!

Words of wisdom: Do not cry because it is over, smile because it happened.