Got to love the Birds!

 

As 6 relaxes in comfort his rocking chair, shot gun in his lap, jug of corn fixings at his side   and ponders the meaning of life, his thoughts are obsessing on the fact that summing is over and fall has arrived. 

Did one ever wonder what 7 and 8 do all day at the beach? It is actually very simple, be it PVV or FFV, their path is much the same every day.. WELLLL 5, as you well know your day starts by watching TV. The reality is that the, morning would not be complete without the Josh’s acumen on foretelling Kiawah weather.  It is such a challenging vocation, for the past 20 years his forecast is a mirror of the day before. It is kind of like watching the Andy Griffith show, and hoping to see an episode that you have never see before.  6 will give it a shot: Inland it’s It is going to be hot and humid with an 80% chance of rain in the afternoon, possible flash flooding in the low laying areas of the city. The beach’s, it’s It is going to be hot and humid with an 80% chance of rain later in the day, along with increased wind gusts. This is repeated on the 5’s for a couple hours! (what is the definition of insanity). Then at some point Josh and Octavia are preempted by THE TODAY SHOW. By this point of the morning the coffee had kicked in It is at this time for the play by play on the daily topics expanded on by the revolving door of hosts. Be it: Savannah, Hoda, Al, Jenna, Craig, Carson, Sheinelle, Dylan, Willie, Laura, Peter, Jane, Bryant, Deborah, Katie, Matt, Meredith, and finally Ann. (5 buck to anyone who can put last names to the cast without looking on the web). As 4, 7 and 8 know very well, 6 comments on the same thing (much like Josh’s forecast) is as follows: On the Today show is why over the span of 60 minutes, 10 minutes are devoted to the various hosts and their famous (most unknown to 6) people yakking about their latest movie, book or concert tour, and 50 minutes of commercials. All-you-all get a real kick out of making fun of 6’s superior intelligence, as well as perceived wasting of time sitting on the rocking chair all day, WELLLL 5 , let me tell you, without that time you would not have the answers to life’s mysteries.  6 has the TODAY SHOW all figured out. Hear you go! 6 realizes that those people make some nice money, but can you imagine how much they must get paid by the word? For example, Al’s current take home is $10M per year, that translates into an estimated $100K per word spoken, and estimated $10 per bit taken. Can one honestly blame him for signing a new 5-year deal? Paths taken…. Probably would be nice to have his fixed income. Now the real question is “If someone could get $10M a year for reading the weather report and eating, how much would the rest of the crew make? Now we know why 50 kin of commercials and 10 min of show, but then again, in reality to 10 min of show is really nothing but a commercial. That is the hard truth, the network cannot afford all of those people, so they give us 50 minutes of selling us something.  Let us move on and continue with 7 & 8’s path. When the today show is over, it is time for Kathy Lee and Hoda, now it is Hoda and Jenna. Not sure of the name of the show, but 6 sure hopes Hoda gets paid tons more than Al, she is on TV all Moring.  6 would estimate over the 3 hours she is on TV, she probably talks for 15 minutes! At Al’s rate she should be paid $75M.  Once 7 & 8, have had their fill of the daily weather and news, 8 will then go out for a bike ride and 7 for his walk with Speedo. They then gather back at the condo and head for the beach. WELLLL 5 that was back in the old days, now we are really not sure what they do, for in the past couple years they now come to the beach about 1:30 or 2:00…. One has to wonder if the walk with Speedo and the bike ride are exhausting them! After all it takes a significant amount of energy to walk 300 yards to the beach and lug that beach chair.  Don’t let them fool you, once again 6’s conclusions are 100% correct! For the past couple years 7 & 8 have moved to beach front properties now they have 50 yards to the beach (depending on the tide). Finally, they make it to the beach, they place their chairs at the water’s edge, sit down and wait to see if they have to move north or south on the beach depending on the tide. Their path runs very deep, for over the years they have made some good old friends. 7 & 8 put on a good front in regards to their old friends, but as we all know actions speak louder than words, their longstanding friends are nothing other than: sea gulls (Larus argentatus) . We all know they put on a big show when 6 is being generous to the poor birds offering fresh crackers. WELLLL 5, 6 as you might have come to expect has figured it out! This year on PVV, 4,6,7 and 8 were concluding their beach day by sipping Rex and partaking in gourmet sand-cheese and crackers. True to 6’s gargantuan charity, 6 offered the starving birds a few scraps from our glut. Down came the birds, can anyone take a WAG as to the reaction of 7 & 8? They threw their flip flops in the direction of the poor starving fowls in a deliberate attempt to drive them away. As one might expect it worked, the poor little guys mustered about 20 yards down the beach, and appeared to be having a conversation. A definite meeting of the minds, after a few minutes, the all looked directly into our eyes, and one could hear “I’ll get you my pretty, and you little friend too!” They flew away, never to be seen the remainder of the day. BTW pass the Rex! The very next day, after 7 & 8 completed their morning/early afternoon routine, the took their place on the beach. Nothing unusual, but after about an hour or two or three, 4 and 6 noticed a flock of seagulls circling over 7 & 8’s domain. One of the seagulls broke from the formation and executed a reconnaissance mission on 7 & 8. He did one pass made a hard-left turn and came back towards them at full speed. He made his final pass then rejoined the formation, and at this point the formation flew out to sea. 5 minutes after the departure of the gulls, it was time for a chair move,7 & 8 tide was coming in, which means their path was towards 4 and 6, territory. This move was somewhat perplexing, for they had something in their hand other than their heavy chairs. Apparently, the final pass by the sea gull, he was on a bombing run and not a recon mission, he liberated a rather large shrimp that hit it’s intended target, the center of 7’s gleaming head, bounced then landed on 8. That is what one would call an ace bomber pilot, two direct hits with one drop. BTW, if one remembers a blogg from a year or two ago, something very similar happened to 7, the only alteration the fighter pilot gull released a load of crap on his head. Beware of the paths we choose! For if it were not for the load of crap, one could infer the fighter pilot gull acting with generosity by providing 7 & 8 a fresh shrimp to eat, after all 7 & 8 must have needed that sandy-cheese and crackers for they were not willing to give, the day before.

 

Got to go, Banana is on!

 

Words of Wisdom: Follow a path that extends the length of the earth, but fits within yourself.

Change is a good thing

 

One can’t argue that change is unceasing, therefore if we do not change we become nothing but a curmudgeon!  Hold the Phone! Is that really true? For if it were true, 6’s middle name would be curmudgeon, which we all know is a long way from reality. There are countless diverse forms of change. From example: While on Vacation 6 changes his bathing suit as well as his hammer shirt each day, while never changing his PVV or FFV packing routine over the past 20 years (one carry-on suitcase). All you all wonder how can that be? Well it is simple, do laundry every three days. By following this routine, one can pack a carry-on bag, with the added benefit of having a full load of clean clothes and when it is time to pack to leave one has all clean clothes to pack. Now tell one cannot beat that! Call me a curmudgeon all you want, 6 calls this genius!  Now if one would suggest a change to the 3 identical bathing suits 6 has packed for the past 20 years, 6 would call you a curmudgeon, 6 thinks it is being prudent, after all he is on a fixed income! But change is change. Here is another one… Humor me on this one. For the past 20 years 7 has been saying that he is going to purchase a home on Eugenia Drive. 6 is not sure of this fact, but he will be happy to use his superior intelligence and cypher what has taken place on that street. Eugenia was one of the first single family beach front developments on the island. This comes from reading the history of the island as well as cyphering the imperial evidence while observing change on Eugenia in its current state. Just like everything 6 professes, my word is reality thus truth! What has happened over the past 20 years is as follows: Back in the day people built themselves, modest beach front homes. Over the years the beauty of nature no longer filled the empty void people felt inside. Kiawah became a prime example of how success is now measured by the size and number of belongings, and not being thankful for faith, family and country.  The modest homes were no longer acceptable to the crowd that frequented the amenities on the island. So, in order for the inhabitants of Eugenia to fit in on the island they had to subdivide their lots in to two, they would subdivide their lots in to two, then sell one half of their property. New people, who lived on the philosophy ‘Keeping up with the Jones’s “ who would pay millions of dollars for a piece of paradise. The original owns would use the profits of selling half of the lot, and built a new colossal house on the other lot. The reason 6 knows this is true is when you look at the house numbers many of them are now designated with an A and B, where 5 years ago it was a single number two houses on a single lot!  6 knows get to the point! Well here it is, back in the day when one looked west while sitting on the beach all one saw was ocean, beach and the dunes (love of Nature), 20 years later all one sees is ocean, beach and McMansions (Love of self). WELLLLL 7, word of advice, you better break those coppers out of the bank, because there are only 3-4 modest homes left on the dirt road at the end of Eugenia.  For if you don’t do it soon, the future will be something like this: The current owners will subdivide the properties once more thus making room to build thinner and higher.  6 can see the mailbox now, back in the day there would have been one mail box that said 54 Eugenia drive, today there are two mailboxes 54 A and 54 B 20 years from now there will be 4 mailboxes 54 A, 54 B, 54 C and finally 54 D, directly below the 54D will be a 7 which means send all Christmas cards to 54 D Eugenia Drive Kiawah Island SC.   

One last note: We all know how proud the KICA is in regards to their recycling program. It is impressive, but just like most things it is all show. As we all know the most densely populated areas on the island have to drive all of the recycling to the recycle center, like that is going to happen when there are dumpsters provided for trash. Here is the best part, on Eugenia drive each home has two cans, 6 can only assume, one for trash and one for recycle.  Guess what, both cans get dumped in the same trash truck! In order for KICA to remain proud of their recycling accomplishments, 6 can only assume that they dump the trucks at the recycling center and they separate the recycling from the trash. They put the trash back in the trucks and haul it off of the island using Kiawah’s Drive way, and put the recycling in the proper bins, so they can tell the world how much recycling they do. We all know They have to “keep up with the Jones’s”

 

Sorry got to go, it is time to watch Banana! 

 

Words of Wisdom: No matter how often we perceive change, things do not change: we change.