You know. As a result of indecision and utter disregard of official vacation protocol (OVP), this year’s countdown was really pain! Per OVP, I started my texts exactly 30 days prior to our arrival, and before I knew it we had a drop out. I had to go into the official vacation communicator and change the distribution, one might think that would be an easy task, but let me tell you it took me hours to figure that out! To make matters even more difficult with about two weeks to go, I was informed that we had a group that was going to go down a couple days before the official date. This caused me to have two countdown dates, since I was giving the days, hours and seconds, this really caused me to do a significant amount of ciphering to include these renegades in the official vacation broadcast (OVB). Since this group refused to comply with the official vacation laws (OVL), as one might expect the order of life changed. This allowed another group made a decision that they would come down one day early! It was now requiring hours each day to ensure the official vacation countdown (OVC), met the high standards of the vacation protocol! Discombobulation was ensuing, and the OVC was getting so difficult I was getting blisters on my fingers! Well Group one made arrived, and just could not help but to tell the rest of us who did plan on following OVP  how nice it was, the weather was perfect and we could join in just by looking at the beach CAM! How sweet of them the rest of us followed OVP and they had the audacity to tell us to watch them on a web CAM! Then group two headed out early the day before the official date, also breaking OVP  and made it about 6 miles when the truck-ster blew a gasket. What a dilemma! After what seemed to be two weeks in the old truck-ster and OH the smell coming from the back seat the truck-ster pulled into a Charleston hotel!  The next morning group three headed to the airport bright and early on the official day decided that they really want to spend some quality time in our nation’s capital, once again breaking OVP.  They did make it on the official day, with only minutes to spare.  That group need to stop being so patriotic! From all accounts group four, left at the official time, and arrived in time for the official Saturday dinner at the official time, thus following OVP!

We all seemed to follow different paths to get there, some had a very difficult path to follow, while others journey was uneventful, but in the end we were all sitting on the beach on Sunday morning! Next time we need to ensure that the two drop outs get on the path, so they can follow in the footstep of those who made it to paradise! One final thought each year I hear the rumor that a couple other groups (THREE OF THEM and you know who you are) intend to enrich their lives by joining the intellectuals and one idiot on the beach, to that group of slackers all I can say is (I can’t say what I really mean but it has to do with a pot) yesterday is history and today is mystery!

Words of wisdom: One can perceive that it is easy for some and difficult for others. In the end it doesn’t matter when you get there all that a matter is that you get there.

You know; we really need to appreciate each day, be it on the beach, or taking a final exam, or dealing with work or personal issues. For if we ever stop learning, we stop growing, and if we stop growing, then we will appreciate nothing!

As we all gathered for our last meal of our 2013 vacation, one could definitely sense the tide of emotions changed from anticipation to realization. The anticipation of new day of sun and fun, was gone, we were now focused on the task ahead of packing our bags, cleaning the condo’s and heading home.  As the last pictures were being snapped the clan was no longer gathered in the atrium (family room), but scattered in all different directions, some on the veranda, others in the formal dining room, while others were watching the tube. The last supper of VACATION 2013 was completed,  farewells were granted, the only thing left was to  pack our beachwear, and  mentally prepare  for the individual adventures  which face us on our journey home.  Friday night was hear and gone!

The next morning we faced a new day.  While loading the old family truck-ster, one could not help but to  notice the silence. The ocean, air conditioners, children, traffic, arguing neighbors all silent, the only sound was a sudden loud splash in the lagoon. It only took a week for our family pet to get his bird, and go for an early morning swim. With all of our gear loaded, we headed for Mecca to drop the keys in the beachwalker birdhouse, thus marking the end of vacation, and beginning the trip from hell back home. Now that I think about that, how cold can you get? You wait all year to get those keys, the anticipation is unbelievable (topic of a future blog), and then you end it by just dropping your key in a little box. Once you see the keys disappear, your vacation is officially over, finished, done, ended, and complete. Dreams and expectations become memories and no key or cold steel box will ever take them away.  It became very somber in the car as we passed the Red tractor and by the time we passed thru the tunnel of oaks the fog and rain consumed your concentration, we reached the big land mark the famous bridge over the Ashleigh (Ashley) river all you were able to see was the wet cool hard concert of the bridge. We continued to push on thru the rain and fog with the other thousand people who left their keys in a metal box fitttty miles back. We all had several things in common; Rain, Fog, traffic, and worst of all facing the reality that our dreams were coming to an abrupt end. As we continued up the coast, cars on both sides of the road were becoming plentiful.   With us driving north, facing the shadows of reality, the only consolation we have is we are moving, while the people on the southbound lanes are stopped in their tracks. We are in the shadow of reality, while they have the shadows of hope. We are faced with thoughts of the “grind” while their dreams are just beginning. Meanwhile back in Charleston, there is a fine group of people just sitting there waiting for their plane to Wisk them into the friendly shies!  I wonder if all of that fog and rain may have had something to do with the flights out of Charleston being delayed! We learn from all experiences,” weather” you’re sitting in a nice comfortable airport, or in the confines of the truck-ster, we are all being guided to our destination. Look at the bright side; if the sun was shining the truck-ster would have blinding sun coming in from the rear, thus making it difficult to pass other cars, or for the airport travelers, you would have missed all the fun of spending time in our nation’s capital! One guarantee is we will have plenty of stories about our adventures getting home, but the only thing that counts was we did if safely! Everything else does not matter. We have now put ourselves in a position to take the next 25 weeks enjoying our memories, and the next 26 weeks building anticipation for 2014 Vacation. This week’s words of wisdom, you really need to think about in order to make it relate to our trips home, but it is truly fitting.

Words of wisdom: Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil; for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me. Psalm 23: 4

final dinner schedule

Here it is final no changes no addition and most of all get ready for some great food

Saturday : Karen
Sunday: Natalie and Byron
Monday: Adam and  Sarah
Tuesday : Ashleigh and Lauren
Wed : Jay and Warren
Thurs : open. Girls night out
Friday : Andrew and Alex

Imagination is why we grow in Wisdom

While you are sitting on the beach this year in deep intellectual meditation, take a few minutes and watch the kids on the beach. They don’t seem to have a care in the world; they don’t think about money, job, school, dinner, cars, bags or anything like that! They just don’t care! They are in the” zone” they are one with the world that God has bestowed them. They have the ability to sit there for hours, utilizing the tools at hand such as; water, sand, sticks shells creating magical kingdom that takes them far far away from the toils of everyday life. They have no desires for material items other than what will help them build their dreams unlike the thing so called adult obsess about. They just have a need for creativity thus using the greatest gift of all our imaginations. They have captured the ability to take a small narrow confining box (our minds) and expand it to the reaches that only they know. Now we all know the perfect example of imagining and creating versus stupidity (Some adults on the beach) . “The Turtle Killer” There is a fine line between imagination and stupidity, and that man crossed it the day he was born. Instead of letting his offspring (in this case I use that term loosely) use their creativity he hands them a shovel (I guess that he must be on the president’s staff and got that shovel for one of his “shovel ready jobs”) that is used on a construction site, and starts to dig a pit to china!  He is taking his children’s development away from them by not letting them use their own minds! I bet they sit at home all day playing video games while mom and dad are at work. My prediction for those kids they will be sitting there long after the old man is gone teaching their kids to dig holes to china, while the next generation of Maloney’s will be sitting there calling them “turtle killers”. So enough of the negative, This year we must all use this time away from the daily grind and problems that each of us face, and take a lesson from the children on the beach…. Forget our knowledge and use our wisdom, or in other words for the first time in 46 years in my case forget the box which I call my world and expand to the imagination that I had when I was a young pup! Sand shovels and buckets will be supplied!

I have some good news and some bad news. If you all remember a few years ago a rare late Friday storm, caused me to forget our original beach watch as we were forced to evacuate the beach. Jay was kind enough to supply us with a couple new ones, but the battery has gone in the last one! So yesterday, I made a trip to target with the intention of getting the battery replace, and found it prudent just to purchase a new official beach watch. Let me tell you it’s a great addition to our beach experience.  First the numbers are big, so those with aging eyes will be able to tell time without glasses, and second, it has the ability to have different alarm settings. You may be asking yourself why an alarm would be a good thing since I just suggest that we forget all of the trappings of everyday life, and use our imagination. Well this will only help us achieve that goal. For example, we no longer will have to be thinking about the itinerary Uncle Byron he will no longer have the fear of not having Karen’s umbrella be put up on time, he doesn’t have to stop his mind from being imaginative, his concern will all be eliminated be it the first activity of the day or the final (you know chair and umbrella up and then chairs and umbrella down)   

Below you will find a preliminary list of alarm settings: If you all had smart phones I would not need the alarms, I would just set up the tasks and send reminders to everyone!

Alarm 1…. 5:50AM that will give you all time to get down to the beach for the morning walk. I researched the tide and sun cycles, sun up at 6:22. (a little side note: it looks like the perfect time for the family portrait is Tuesday or Wed evening, so since I am taking all this time to make every last minute of your vacation productive someone else can take this on )     Assignment: Alex run to Staawrbucks and get everyone a coffee, your old man said he would spring for the cost, since he is buying, I would also like one of those breakfast sandwiches your choice as the kind, and since you are being so nice, I bet he would not care if you got one for yourself.                                                                                                                                                                        Alarm 2…. 11:30 Group fun time! We all gather to watch Andy Griffith show on TV land.  Assignment Andrew check the cable company and find out what station TV land is being broadcasted and then post the episode on the selected TV. This will provide all of Andy’s fans the opportunity to try and figure out what old Andy, Otis, Barn, and Aunt B’s adventures will entail.                                                                                                       Alarm 3…. 12:07 Umbrella set up, and chair delivery.  Assignment:   Byron read the local tide charts so that you can choose the optimum location for set up. According to the established ground rules, the chair and umbrella must be in position for maximum comfort, 3 minutes prior to group beach time.                                                                                     Alarm 4…12:10 assigning people to dinner duty for the following day.  Assignment:  Ashleigh posts the following day’s chief, exact time, menu and location for dinner.  This list will be on a laminated sheet and posted in each condo.                                                                                                                                           Alarm 5: 12:13 gather in parking lot to either go to the beach or field trip. Assignment: Lauren takes attendance if you are late or missing (see ground rules). She will use a laminated card and grease pencil and document the time of each person’s arrival. After Byron returns from his putting up the umbrella and chairs task, we can proceed to the beach. (Thus the three minutes, you better run buddy)                                                                                               Alarm 6:  2:45 General hospital. Assignment: Karen and invited guest to go back to the condo to watch general hospital.                                                                                                                                                     Alarm 7: Gather on beach for family activities, to include: walking, Frisbee, that game where you roll the balls, etc.  Assignment: Sarah, plan and organize the daily group activity, you can take suggestions from people but your word is final, isn’t mandatory fun a marvelous thing!                                                                                                                              Alarm 8: 4:48, wine and cheese.  Assignment, Natalie, go up to the condo each day and bring back Rex and whatever else you think might be good to feed us.  If anyone has any suggestions please give them to her by COB Friday, they must be in writing and post marked, so that there is no confusion during the week if you did not get your request.                                                                                                                                     Alarm: 9 6:06 clear the beach of all chairs, coolers, etc. assignment: Byron since you are special you get two things per day! I am specifically talking about our STUFF, but if you see it in your heart to help someone like the turtle killer’s wife then more power to you, Hey here is an idea, you could walk the beach and see if anyone needs any help, and they might just give you a tip, that could offset some of the cost you will have in purchasing us our coffee each morning, it would also bring you back to your child hood, just like doing delivering all of those newspapers! (See I do try and help). Just don’t be late for dinner.                                                                                                                                                                      Alarm 10:   7:15 Call for dinner. Assignment: Jay meet and greet everyone as they are walking in the door, a tux would not be out of the question on this activity. For those who live in the designated condo for the assigned meal, they must leave and return so that they will receive a  proper greeting. You will be expected to provide a drink for everyone as they enter the door, and then seat them in their assigned seats for dinner, now in case of rain, you may have to provide a taxi service along with umbrellas.                                                                                                                                                                         Alarm 11: 9:15 end of the day stroll on the beach Assignment: Adam, guide people safely to the beach lead the walk and make sure people are returned home safely. At times we have spotted wild animal in the parking lot, and especially at the tree line. I think that they come out at night to feed; the time of this activity may vary (+ or- 10 minutes) depending on the tides, so you must become familiar with the tide schedule. Once you have reached your decision makes an announcement at dinner as to the time and place for the group to gather before proceeding to the beach. I might suggest that you take a whistle and spot light given the unexpected things you may encounter on the way.                                                

The other side of the tree line

While sitting on the beach contemplating the mysteries of the universe, have you ever meditated on the difference between knowledge and wisdom? If you have not, well I am going to save you some time, just read on and you will be enlightened.

Kiawah provides some interesting insight as to how the other half live.  Most of you may not notice, since you-all live in the big city, and I live in a place where most people drive pick-me-up trucks, not because they just want them, but have to use them to make a living. A place where our big summer event is the national lawn mower races http://bowlesfarms.com/LawnMower_Race.php   being held at our neighbor’s farm, or the U.S. oyster shucking finals held in a field across from the high school. (You get the point)  As you start walking around the streets of the Fresh fields, you are confronted by people dressed to the nine’s. Everyone you see have designer: shoes, bags, glasses, jewelry and Rolex’s on their wrists.  After you finally get your key and parking pass you are confronted, by the same snobs their fancy cars not one of them have any idea what they are doing as they crash the gate. They don’t care which lane they are in because they are right! I spend my time just enjoying all of the incompetence, stupidity and arrogance of those people. I finally got thru the gate, and some idiot biker decided that he was too good to ride is $5,000 bike on the established, well marked,  BIG sign sayin, “over here dummy” bike path. Once again, I just waited for a break (I counted the cars: 40 SUV’s, 20 Lincoln’s, 10 Caddy’s, 30 BMW’s) in the traffic so I could pull around him.  One year I observed our neighbors, let me build you a bio: 40’s, professional, two incomes, 2.5 kids (really three) 2011Mercedes SUV, Trune roof carrier, Gucci luggage.  I watched as the kids dragged the luggage up the stairs while the old man stood at the bottom, I assume the old lady was inside drinking her imported fitness water which the old man got a text message then yelled to one of the kids to come back down here because your mom needs a drink of water. Bright and early the next morning mom and 2.5 kids jumped into the SUV and drove the 200 yards to the park so the park could entertain them for the day, after that chore was completed the wife and husband can start their family vacation! The old lady is headed to the spa, to spend $1,000 dollars on makeover, while the old man heads to the ocean course to drop only $500 on a round of golf. The bad news is they are leaving at different times! Who gets the car? They are both knowledgeable people and know how to take care of themselves so they call the island limos. The first limo shows up do you think that the old lady would be on the lookout No way, that would imply that she was thinking of someone other than herself. The limo driver had to wait for 20 minutes before she graced him with her presence. Now the old man was different, he just walked down the steps when his Limo arrived and popped the lift back of his SUV and told the driver to get his club out and put them in the limo. They followed the same routine every morning, except on Thursday where the old lady did not drop off the kids, but they did grace all of us with their presence on the beach. Now that is a real family vacation! If what I am describing is not the exception, then I will eat my hat! To think, we have the nerve to talk about how modern, and full of knowledge we are today, all I can say is Ellen “We are standing on the threshold of hell”.  Often times in my blog I have described the tree line, where you walk from the madness of the homes/condo/cars limo’s etc, and pass thru the tree line where you take a big breath and you have reached nirvana. The tree line is best described like this; it is the dividing line between the narcissistic world and contentment, materialist and needy, giving and receiving, Knowledge and wisdom. Everyone on the beach has the same purpose, the only perceivable difference between people is the color of their bathing suit, it could be old, or it could be new, who knows and who cares.  You can be yourself on the beach, there is nothing to be pretentious about, there are chairs, umbrellas, and boogie boards etc. once again different colors but the same. After one dip in the water we all look the same! There are some exceptions, just like anything (the turtle killers) but for the most part, we are all forced mentality to leave the  knowledge that drives our need for STUFF, behind and are then forced to relax and take inventory of what we really are Wisdom.